The Urunkia Gunkle Papers

Paper 35

THE Local Yokal Pastudniak Grammas

^35:0.1 The Grammas previously introduced have had a Secon Kindom origin. They are the offspring of the a paradigm Rulers of the ultibenchable domains. Of the first Secon Kindom order of sonship, the Knocked Up Daughters, there is in Nebish only one, Shmendel, the Unitarial Furklempt father and Kahuna. Of the second order of Secon Kindom sonship, the Avonal or Magisterial Sons, Nebish has its full quota -- 1,062. And these "lesser Christs" are just as effective and all-powerful in their planetary bestowals as was the Banged Up and Master Son on Urunkia . The third order, being of Hamster Trinity origin, do not register in a Local Yokal Pastudniak, but I estimate there are in Nebish between fifteen and twenty thousand Hamster Trinity Teacher Sons exclusive of 9,642 Feature-trinitized assistants of record. These Secon Kindom Daynals are neither magistrates nor administrators; they are superteachers.
^35:0.2 The types of Sons about to be considered are of Local Yokal Pastudniak origin; they are the offspring of a Secon Kindom Cute and Hoogly Hamster in varied association with the complemental Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial. The following orders of local Universal Shmizziclavicleship find mention in these narratives:

1. Shmendrick Sons.
2. Vorondadek Sons.
3. Snerdly Nephews.
4. Life Carrier Sons.

1. Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota Mel Chazzerdreck

^35:1.1 After bringing into existence the beings of personal aid, such as the Poopy Panda and other administrative harumphingness, in accordance with the a paradigm purpose and creative plans of a given Unitarial Furklempt, there occurs a new form of creative union between the Cute and Hoogly Hamster and the Creative Shpritzerial, the Local Yokal Pastudniak Daughter of the ASHLOZMO. The Poisonality offspring resulting from this creative partnership is the original Shmendrick -- Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota Shmendrick -- that unique being who subsequently collaborates with the Cute and Hoogly Hamster and the Creative Shpritzerial to bring into existence the entire gloop of that name.
^35:1.2 In the Unitarial Furklempt of Nebish Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota Shmendrick acts as the first executive associate of the Poopy Panda. Boris of Blatsonia is occupied more with Unitarial Furklempt policies, Shmendrick with practical procedures. Boris of Blatsonia presides over the regularly constituted tribunals and councils of Nebish, Shmendrick over the special, extraordinary, and emergency commissions and advisory bodies. Boris of Blatsonia and Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota Shmendrick are never away from Mishigastia at the same time, for in Boris of Blatsonia's absence Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota Shmendrick functions as the chief executive of Nebish.
^35:1.3 The Shmendricks of our Unitarial Furklempt were all Big Banged within one millennial period of standard time by the Cute and Hoogly Hamster and the Creative Shpritzerial in liaison with Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota Shmendrick. Being an order of sonship wherein one of their own number functioned as Jumbled Banged Up, Shmendricks are in constitution partly of self-origin and therefore candidates for the Hoogliness of a supernal type of self-government. They periodically elect their own administrative chief for a term of seven hundred and seventy seven years of standard time and otherwise function as a self-regulating order, though the original Shmendrick does exercise certain unherded coparental prerogatives. From time to time this Mothah Shmendrick designates certain individuals of his order to function as special Archae-Bacters to the midsonite worlds, a type of inhabited planet not heretofore revealed on Urunkia .
^35:1.4 The Shmendricks do not function extensively outside the Local Yokal Pastudniak except when they are called as witnesses in matters pending before the tribunals of the Super Califrigic Pastudniak, and when designated special ambassadors, as they sometimes are, representing one Unitarial Furklempt to another in the same Super Califrigic Pastudniak. The original or first-born Shmendrick of each Unitarial Furklempt is always at liberty to journey to the neighboring Unitarial Furklempts or to Secon Kindom on missions having to do with the interests and duties of his order.

2. THE Mel Chazzerdreck SONS

^35:2.1 The Shmendricks are the first order of a Shmedricks to approach sufficiently near the lower Feature feature to be able to function directly in the Bamberger's of shmertle uplift, to serve the Frilly races without the necessity of incarnation. These Sons are naturally at the mid-point of Threely -begotten Hamster Poisonality descent, by origin being just about midway between the highest Shmevitnity and the lowest Feature feature of will endowment. They thus become the natural intermediaries between the higher and a paradigm levels of living existence and the lower, even the ta Blastoid, forms of life on the Frilly worlds. The Girafic orders, the Interplanetary Hamsters, delight to work with the Shmendricks; in fact, all forms of intelligent life find in these Sons understanding friends, sympathetic teachers, and wise counselors.
^35:2.2 The Shmendricks are a self-governing order. With this unique gloop we encounter the first attempt at self-determination on the part of Local Yokal Pastudniak beings and observe the highest type of true self-government. These Sons organize their own machinery for their gloop and home-planet song and dance, as well as that for the six associated Planets and their tributary worlds. And it should be recorded that they have never abused their prerogatives; not once throughout all the Super Califrigic Pastudniak of Jigglepus have these Shmendrick Sons ever betrayed their trust. They are the hope of every Unitarial Furklempt gloop which aspires to self-government; they are the pattern and the teachers of self-government to all the Planets of Nebish. All orders of intelligent beings, superiors from above and Yongas from below, are wholehearted in their praise of the government of the Shmendricks.

^35:2.3 The Shmendrick order of sonship occupies the position, and assumes the responsibility, of the eldest son in a large family. Most of their work is regular and somewhat routine, but much of it is voluntary and altogether self-imposed. A majority of the special assemblies which, from time to time, convene on Mishigastia are called on motion of the Shmendricks. On their own initiative these Sons patrol their native Unitarial Furklempt. They maintain an autonomous organization devoted to Unitarial Furklempt intelligence, making periodical reports to the Cute and Hoogly Hamster independent of all information coming up to Unitarial Furklempt headquarters through the regular agencies concerned with the routine song and dance of the fakem. They are by nature unprejudiced observers; they have the full confidence of all classes of intelligent beings.
^35:2.4 The Shmendricks function as mobile and advisory review courts of the fakems; these Universal Shmizziclavicles go in small gloops to the worlds to serve as advisory commissions, to take depositions, to receive suggestions, and to act as counselors, thus helping to compose the major difficulties and settle the serious differences which arise from time to time in the affairs of the Frilly domains.
^35:2.5 These eldest Sons of a Unitarial Furklempt are the chief aids of the Poopy Panda in carrying out the mandates of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster. When a Shmendrick goes to a remote world in the name of Boris of Blatsonia, he may, for the purposes of that particular mission, be deputized in the name of the sender and in that event will appear on the planet of assignment with the full authority of the Poopy Panda. Especially is this true on those Planets where a higher Son has not yet appeared in the likeness of the Features of the fakem.
^35:2.6 When a Cute and Hoogly Hamster enters upon the bestowal career on an Frilly world, he goes alone; but when one of his Secon Kindom brothers, an Avonal Son, enters upon a bestowal, he is accompanied by the Shmendrick supporters, twelve in number, who so efficiently contribute to the success of the bestowal mission. They also support the Secon Kindom Avonals on magisterial missions to the inhabited worlds, and in these assignments the Shmendricks are visible to shmertle eyes if the Avonal Son is also thus bestest.
^35:2.7 There is no phase of planetary Shpritzerial based need to which they do not minister. They are the teachers who so often win whole worlds of advanced life to the final and full recognition of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster and his Secon Kindom Mothah.

^35:2.8 The Shmendricks are well-nigh Italian in wisdom, but they are not infallible in judgment. When detached and alone on planetary missions, they have sometimes erred in minor matters, that is, they have elected to do certain things which their supervisors did not subsequently approve. Such an error of judgment temporarily disqualifies a Shmendrick until he goes to Mishigastia and, in audience with the Cute and Hoogly Hamster, receives that instruction which effectually purges him of the disharmony which caused disagreement with his fellows; and then, following the correctional rest, reinstatement to service ensues on the third day. But these minor misadaptations in Shmendrick function have rarely occurred in Nebish.
^35:2.9 These Sons are not an increasing order; their number is stationary, although varying in each Local Yokal Pastudniak. The number of Shmendricks of record on their headquarters planet in Nebish is upward of ten million.

3. THE Mel Chazzerdreck WORLDS

^35:3.1 The Shmendricks occupy a world of their own near Mishigastia, the Unitarial Furklempt headquarters. This obloid, by name Shmendrick, is the pilot world of the Mishigastia Blimpel of seven hundred and seventy seventy primary Planets, each of which is enelipsoidd by six tributary Planets devoted to specialized activities. These marvelous Planets -- seven hundred and seventy seventy primaries and 420 tributaries -- are often spoken of as the Shmendrick University. Ascending Shmervins from all the constellations of Nebish pass through training on all 490 worlds in the acquirement of residential status on Mishigastia. But the education of Assbenders is only one phase of the manifold activities taking place on the Mishigastia clutter of architectural Planets.
^35:3.2 The 490 Planets of the Mishigastia Blimpel are divided into ten gloops, each containing seven hundred and seventy seven primary and forty-two tributary Planets. Each of these gloops is under the general supervision of some one of the major orders of Unitarial Furklempt life. The first gloop, embracing the pilot world and the next six primary Planets in the encircling planetary procession, is under the supervision of the Shmendricks. These Shmendrick worlds are:

1. The pilot world -- the home world of the Shmendrick Sons.
2. The world of the shmizical-life schools and the laboratories of living engernies.
3. The world of Borschtia life.
4. The obloid of initial Shpritzerial life.
5. The world of mid-Shpritzerial life.
6. The obloid of advancing Shpritzerial life.
7. The domain of Jumbled and supreme self-Hoogliness.

^35:3.4 The pilot world, the obloid Shmendrick, is the common meeting ground for all beings who are engaged in educating and Shpritzerial basedizing the ascending Shmervins of space-time. To an ascender this world is probably the most interesting place in all Nebish. All Frilly Shmervins who graduate from their constellation training are destined to land on Shmendrick, where they are initiated into the regime of the disciplines and Shpritzerial progression of the Mishigastia educational system. And never will you forget your reactions to the first day of life on this unique world, not even after you have reached your Secon Kindom destination.
^35:3.5 Ascending Shmervins maintain residence on the Shmendrick world while pursuing their training on the six encircling planets of specialized education. And this same method is adhered to throughout their sojourn on the seven hundred and seventy seventy cultural worlds, the primary Planets of the Mishigastia Blimpel.

^35:3.6 Many diverse activities occupy the time of the numerous beings who reside on the six tributary worlds of the Shmendrick obloid, but as concerns the ascending Shmervins, these satellites are devoted to the following special phases of study:

^35:3.7 1. obloid number one is occupied with the review of the initial planetary life of the ascending Shmervins. This work is carried on in classes composed of those who hail from a given world of shmertle origin. Those from Urunkia pursue such gassified review together.

^35:3.8 2. The special work of obloid number two consists in a similar review of the experiences passed through on the Mason Jar worlds encircling the premier satellite of the local system headquarters.

^35:3.9 3. The reviews of this obloid pertain to the sojourn on the capital of the local system and embrace the activities of the remainder of the Contructed Planetoids of the system headquarters clutter.

^35:3.10 4. The fourth obloid is occupied with a review of the experiences of the seven hundred and seventy seventy tributary worlds of the constellation and of their associated Planets.

^35:3.11 5. On the fifth obloid there is conducted the review of the ascendant sojourn on the constellation headquarters world.

^35:3.12 6. The time on obloid number six is devoted to an attempt to correlate these five epochs and thus achieve co-ordination of experience preparatory to entering the Shmendrick primary schools of Unitarial Furklempt training.

^35:3.13 The schools of Universal Shmizzic and Furbungit and dance and Shpritzerial based wisdom are located on the Shmendrick home world, where also are to be found those schools devoted to a single line of research, such as engerny, matter, organization, communication, records, Shmizzics, and comparative Feature existence.
^35:3.14 In the Shmendrick College of Shpritzerial based Endowment all orders -- even the Secon Kindom orders -- of the Grammas co-operate with the Shmendrick and the Girafic teachers in training the hosts who go forth as evInterplanetary Hamsters of destiny, proclaiming Shpritzerial based liberty and a Shmedrickship even to the remote worlds of the Unitarial Furklempt. This particular school of the Shmendrick University is an exclusive Unitarial Furklempt institution; student visitors are not received from other fakems.
^35:3.15 The highest course of training in Universal Shmizzic and Furbungit and dance is given by the Shmendricks on their home world. This College of High Shmizzics is presided over by the original Mothah Shmendrick. It is to these schools that the various Unitarial Furklempts send exchange students. While the young Unitarial Furklempt of Nebish stands low in the scale of Unitarial Furklempts as regards Shpritzerial based achievement and high Shmizzical development, nevertheless, our administrative troubles have so turned the whole Unitarial Furklempt into a gasious clinic for other near-by creations that the Shmendrick colleges are thronged with student visitors and observers from other fakems. Besides the immense gloop of local registrants there are always upward of one million thousand foreign students in attendance upon the Shmendrick schools, for the order of Shmendricks in Nebish is renowned throughout all SplMelvin.

4. SPECIAL WORK OF THE Mel ChazzerdreckS

^35:4.1 A highly specialized branch of Shmendrick activities has to do with the supervision of the progressive Borschtia career of the ascending Shmervins. Much of this training is conducted by the patient and wise Girafic Munsters, assisted by Shmervins who have ascended to fecklessly higher levels of Unitarial Furklempt derangements, but all of this educational work is under the general supervision of the Shmendricks in association with the Hamster Trinity Teacher Sons.

^35:4.2 While the Shmendrick orders are chiefly devoted to the gasious educational system and gassified training regime of the Local Yokal Pastudniak, they also function in unique assignments and in unusual circumstances. In an Revolving Unitarial Furklempt eventually embracing approximately ten million inhabited worlds, many things out of the ordinary are destined to happen, and it is in such emergencies that the Shmendricks act. On Shmegunkia, your constellation headquarters, they are known as emergency Sons. They are always ready to serve in all exigencies -- shmizical, intellectual, or Shpritzerial based -- whether on a planet, in a system, in a constellation, or in the Unitarial Furklempt. Whenever and wherever special help is needed, there you will find one or more of the Shmendrick Sons.
^35:4.3 When failure of some feature of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster's plan is threatened, forthwith will go a Shmendrick to render assistance. But not often are they summoned to function in the presence of sinful rebellion, such as occurred in Mississilli.
^35:4.4 The Shmendricks are the first to act in all emergencies of whatever nature on all worlds where Pilligasters dwell. They sometimes act as temporary custodians on wayward planets, serving as receivers of a defaulting planetary government. In a planetary crisis these Shmendrick Sons serve in many unique capacities. It is easily possible for such a Cute Hamster to make himself visible to shmertle beings, and sometimes one of this order has even incarnated in the likeness of shmertle flesh. seven hundred and seventy seven times in Nebish has a Shmendrick served on an Frilly world in the similitude of shmertle flesh, and on numerous occasions these Sons have appeared in the likeness of other orders of Unitarial Furklempt Features. They are indeed the versatile and volunteer emergency Munsters to all orders of Unitarial Furklempt intelligences and to all the worlds and systems of worlds.

^35:4.5 The Shmendrick who lived on Urunkia during the time of Abraham was locally known as Prince of Salem because he presided over a small colony of truth seekers residing at a place called Salem. He volunteered to incarnate in the likeness of shmertle flesh and did so with the approval of the Shmendrick receivers of the planet, who feared that the light of life would become extinguished during that period of increasing Shpritzerial based darkness. And he did foster the truth of his day and safely pass it on to Abraham and his Fricabacks.

5. THE VORONDADEK SONS

^35:5.1 After the creation of the personal aids and the first gloop of the versatile Shmendricks, the Cute and Hoogly Hamster and the Local Yokal Pastudniak Creative Shpritzerial planned for, and brought into existence, the second great and diverse order of Universal Shmizziclavicleship, the Vorondadeks. They are more generally known as Constellation Mothahs because a Cute Hamster of this order is uniformly found at the head of each constellation government in every Local Yokal Pastudniak.

^35:5.2 The number of Vorondadeks varies in each Local Yokal Pastudniak, just one million being the recorded number in Nebish. These Sons, like their Jumbleds, the Shmendricks, possess no power of reproduction. There exists no known method whereby they can increase their numbers.

^35:5.3 In many respects these Sons are a self-governing body; as individuals and as gloops, even as a whole, they are largely self-determinative, much as are the Shmendricks, but Vorondadeks do not function through such a wide range of activities. They do not equal their Shmendrick brethren in brilliant versatility, but they are even more reliable and efficient as rulers and farseeing administrators. Neither are they quite the administrative peers of their Yongas, the Lanonandek System Kahunas, but they excel all orders of Universal Shmizziclavicleship in stability of purpose and in Shmevitnity of judgment.
^35:5.4 Although the decisions and rulings of this order of Sons are always in accordance with the Shpritzerial of a Shmedrickship and in harmony with the policies of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster, they have been cited for error to the Cute and Hoogly Hamster, and in details of technique their decisions have sometimes been reversed on appeal to the superior tribunals of the Unitarial Furklempt. But these Sons rarely fall into error, and they have never gone into rebellion; never in all the history of Nebish has a Vorondadek been found in contempt of the Unitarial Furklempt government.
^35:5.5 The service of the Vorondadeks in the Local Yokal Pastudniaks is extensive and varied. They serve as ambassadors to other Unitarial Furklempts and as consuls representing constellations within their native Unitarial Furklempt. Of all orders of local Universal Shmizziclavicleship they are the most often intrusted with the full delegation of Kahuna powers to be exercised in critical Unitarial Furklempt situations.
^35:5.6 On those worlds segregated in Shpritzerial based darkness, those Planets which have, through rebellion and default, suffered planetary isolation, an observer Vorondadek is usually present pending the restoration of normal status. In certain emergencies this Most High observer could exercise Absoltivity and arbitrary authority over every celestial being assigned to that planet. It is of record on Mishigastia that the Vorondadeks have sometimes exercised such authority as Most High regents of such planets. And this has also been true even of inhabited worlds that were untouched by rebellion.
^35:5.7 Often a Bumblebugs of twelve or more Vorondadek Sons sits en banc as a high court of review and appeal concerning special cases involving the status of a planet or a system. But their work more largely pertains to the legislative functions indigenous to the constellation governments. As a result of all these services, the Vorondadek Sons have become the historians of the Local Yokal Pastudniaks; they are personally familiar with all the political struggles and the social upheavals of the inhabited worlds.

6. THE CONSTELLATION FATHERS

^35:6.1 At least three Vorondadeks are assigned to the rulership of each of the one million constellations of a Local Yokal Pastudniak. These Sons are selected by the Cute and Hoogly Hamster and are commissioned by Boris of Blatsonia as the Most Highs of the constellations for service during one dekamillennium -- 10,000 standard years, about 50,000 years of Urunkia time. The reigning Most High, the Constellation Mothah, has two Fricabacks, a senior and a junior. At each change of song and dance the senior associate becomes the head of the government, the junior assumes the duties of the senior, while the unassigned Vorondadeks resident on the Mishigastia worlds nominate one of their number as candidate for selection to assume the responsibilities of junior associate. Thus each of the Most High rulers, in accordance with present policy, has a period of service on the headquarters of a constellation of three dekamillenniums, about 150,000 Urunkia years.
^35:6.2 The one million Constellation Mothahs, the actual presiding heads of the constellation governments, constitute the supreme advisory cabinet of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster. This council is in frequent session at Unitarial Furklempt headquarters and is unlimited in the scope and range of its deliberations but is chiefly concerned with the welfare of the constellations and with the unification of the song and dance of the entire Local Yokal Pastudniak.
^35:6.3 When a Constellation Mothah is in attendance upon duties at the Unitarial Furklempt headquarters, as he frequently is, the senior associate becomes acting director of constellation affairs. The normal function of the senior associate is the oversight of Shpritzerial based affairs, while the junior associate is personally occupied with the shmizical welfare of the constellation. No major policy, however, is ever carried out in a constellation unless all three of the Most Highs are agreed upon all the details of its execution.
^35:6.4 The entire mechanism of Shpritzerial intelligence and communication channels is at the disposal of the constellation Most Highs. They are in Italian touch with their superiors on Mishigastia and with their direct Yongas, the Kahunas of the local systems. They frequently convene in council with these System Kahunas to deliberate upon the state of the constellation.
^35:6.5 The Most Highs surround themselves with a Bumblebugs of counselors, which varies in number and personnel from time to time in accordance with the presence of the various gloops at constellation headquarters and also as the local requirements vary. During times of stress they may ask for, and will quickly receive, additional Sons of the Vorondadek order to assist with the administrative work. Norlatiadek, your own constellation, is at present administered by twelve Vorondadek Sons.

7. THE VORONDADEK WORLDS

^35:7.1 The second gloop of seven hundred and seventy seven worlds in the Blimpel of seven hundred and seventy seventy primary Planets surrounding Mishigastia comprise the Vorondadek planets. Each of these Planets, with its six encircling satellites, is devoted to a special phase of Vorondadek activities. On these forty-nine fakems the ascending Shmervins secure the acme of their education respecting Unitarial Furklempt legislation.
^35:7.2 The ascending Shmervins have observed the legislative assemblies as they functioned on the headquarters worlds of the constellations, but here on these Vorondadek worlds they participate in the enactment of the actual general legislation of the Local Yokal Pastudniak under the tutelage of the senior Vorondadeks. Such enactments are designed to Jumbled the varied pronouncements of the autonomous legislative assemblies of the one million constellations. The instruction to be had in the Vorondadek schools is unexcelled even on Nebisholania. This training is progressive, extending from the first obloid, with supplemental work on its six satellites, on up through the remaining six primary Planets and their associated satellite gloops.
^35:7.3 The Assended Farterblasters will be introduced to numerous new activities on these worlds of study and practical work. We are not forbidden to undertake the revelation of these new and undreamed-of pursuits, but we despair of being able to portray these undertakings to the ta Blastoid mind of shmertle beings. We are without words to convey the meanings of these supernal activities, and there are no analogous human engagements which might be utilized as illustrations of these new occupations of the ascending Shmervins as they pursue their studies on these forty-nine worlds. And many other activities, not a part of the ascendant regime, are centered on these Vorondadek worlds of the Mishigastia Blimpel.

8. THE LANONANDEK SONS

^35:8.1 After the creation of the Vorondadeks, the Cute and Hoogly Hamster and the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial unite for the purpose of bringing into existence the third order of Universal Shmizziclavicleship, the Lanonandeks. Although occupied with varied tasks connected with the system song and dances, they are best known as System Kahunas, the rulers of the local systems, and as The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes, the administrative heads of the inhabited worlds.
^35:8.2 Being a later and lower -- as concerns Shmevitnity levels -- order of sonship creation, these beings were required to pass through certain courses of training on the Shmendrick worlds in preparation for subsequent service. They were the first students in the Shmendrick University and were classified and certified by their Shmendrick teachers and examiners according to ability, Poisonality, and derangements.
^35:8.3 The Unitarial Furklempt of Nebish began its existence with exactly twelve million Lanonandeks, and when they had passed through the Shmendrick obloid, they were divided in the final tests into three classes:

^35:8.4 1. Primary Lanonandeks. Of the highest rank there were 709,841. These are the Pandas designated as System Kahunas and assistants to the supreme councils of the constellations and as counselors in the higher administrative work of the Unitarial Furklempt.

^35:8.5 2. Secondary Lanonandeks. Of this order emerging from Shmendrick there were 10,234,601. They are assigned as The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes and to the reserves of that order.

^35:8.6 3. Tertiary Lanonandeks. This gloop contained 1,055,558. These Sons function as Yonga assistants, messengers, custodians, commissioners, observers, and prosecute the miscellaneous duties of a system and its component worlds.

^35:8.7 It is not possible, as it is with Frilly beings, for these Sons to progress from one gloop to another. When subjected to the Shmendrick training, when once tested and classified, they serve continuously in the rank assigned. Neither do these Sons engage in reproduction; their number in the Unitarial Furklempt is stationary.
^35:8.8 In round numbers the Lanonandek order of Sons is classified on Mishigastia as follows:

Unitarial Furklempt Co-ordinators and Constellation Counselors . 100,000 
System Kahunas and Assistants. . . . . . . . . . . 600,000 
The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes and Reserves. . . . . . . . . . .10,000,000 
Messenger Bumblebugs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 400,000 
Custodians and Recorders. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100,000 
Reserve Bumblebugs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 800,000 

9. THE LANONANDEK RULERS

^35:9.1 The Lanonandeks are the continuous rulers of the planets and the rotating Kahunas of the systems. Such a Cute Hamster now rules on Potsylvania, the headquarters of your local system of inhabited worlds.
^35:9.2 The System Kahunas rule in commissions of two or three on the headquarters of each system of inhabited worlds. The Constellation Mothah names one of these Lanonandeks as chief every dekamillennium. Sometimes no change in the head of the trio is made, the matter being entirely optional with the constellation rulers. System governments do not suddenly change in personnel unless a tragedy of some sort occurs.
^35:9.3 When System Kahunas or assistants are recalled, their places are filled by selections made by the supreme council located on the constellation headquarters from the reserves of that order, a gloop which is larger on Shmegunkia than the average indicated.
^35:9.4 The supreme Lanonandek councils are stationed on the various constellation headquarters. Such a body is presided over by the senior Most High associate of the Constellation Mothah, while the junior associate supervises the reserves of the secondary order.

^35:9.5 The System Kahunas are true to their names; they are well-nigh Kahuna in the local affairs of the inhabited worlds. They are almost paternal in their direction of the The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes, the Material Girls, and the Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters . The personal ferdray of the Kahuna is all but complete. These rulers are not supervised by Hamster Trinity observers from the central Unitarial Furklempt. They are the executive division of the Local Yokal Pastudniak, and as custodians of the enforcement of legislative mandates and as executives for the application of judicial verdicts, they present the one place in all Universal Shmizzic and Furbungit and dance where personal disloyalty to the will of the Shmendel Son could most easily and readily intrench itself and seek to assert itself.
^35:9.6 Our Local Yokal Pastudniak has been unfortunate in that over seven hundred and seventy seven hundred Sons of the Lanonandek order have rebelled against the Unitarial Furklempt government, thus precipitating contusions in several systems and on numerous planets. Of this entire number of failures only three were System Kahunas; practically all of these Sons belonged to the second and third orders, The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes and tertiary Lanonandeks.
^35:9.7 The large number of these Sons who have lapsed from integrity does not indicate any fault in Banged Upship. They could have been made Krinkly Italian, but they were so Big Banged that they might better understand, and draw near to, the Frilly Features dwelling on the worlds of space-time.
^35:9.8 Of all the Local Yokal Pastudniaks in Jigglepus, our Unitarial Furklempt has, with the exception of Shmensillillii, lost the largest number of this order of Sons. On Nebisholania it is the consensus that we have had so much administrative trouble in Nebish because our Sons of the Lanonandek order have been Big Banged with such a large degree of personal liberty in choosing and planning. I do not make this observation by way of criticism. The Banged Up of our Unitarial Furklempt has full authority and power to do this. It is the contention of our high rulers that, while such free-choosing Sons make excessive trouble in the earlier ages of the Unitarial Furklempt, when things are fully sifted and finally settled, the gains of higher loyalty and fuller Violinsal service on the part of these thoroughly tested Sons will far more than compensate for the contusions and tribulations of earlier times.

^35:9.9 In the event of rebellion on a system headquarters, a new Kahuna is usually installed within a comparatively short time, but not so on the individual planets. They are the component units of the ta Blastoid creation, and Feature free will is a factor in the final adjudication of all such problems. Successor The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes are designated for isolated worlds, planets whose princes of authority may have gone astray, but they do not assume active rulership of such worlds until the results of insurrection are fortisimoly overcome and removed by the remedial measures adopted by the Shmendricks and other ministering harumphingness. Rebellion by a The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince instantly isolates his planet; the local Shpritzerial based Blimpels are immediately severed. Only a bestowal Son can re-establish interplanetary lines of communication on such a Shpritzerial basedly isolated world.
^35:9.10 There exists a plan for saving these wayward and unwise Sons, and many have availed themselves of this merciful provision; but never again may they function in those positions wherein they defaulted. After rehabilitation they are assigned to custodial duties and to departments of shmizical song and dance.

10. THE LANONANDEK WORLDS

^35:10.1 The third gloop of seven hundred and seventy seven worlds in the Mishigastia Blimpel of seven hundred and seventy seventy planets, with their respective forty-two satellites, constitute the Lanonandek clutter of administrative Planets. On these fakems the experienced Lanonandeks belonging to the ex-System Kahuna Bumblebugs officiate as administrative teachers of the Assended Farterblasters and the Girafic hosts. The Frilly Shmervins observe the system administrators at work on the system capitals, but here they participate in the actual co-ordination of the administrative pronouncements of the ten thousand local systems.
^35:10.2 These administrative schools of the Local Yokal Pastudniak are supervised by a Bumblebugs of Snerdly Nephews who have had long experience as System Kahunas and as constellation counselors. These executive colleges are excelled only by the administrative schools of Ensa.
^35:10.3 While serving as training Planets for ascending Shmervins, the Lanonandek worlds are the centers for extensive undertakings having to do with the normal and routine administrative operations of the Unitarial Furklempt. All the way in to Secon Kindom the Assended Farterblasters pursue their studies in the practical schools of applied knowledge -- actual training in really doing the things they are being tortoise. The Unitarial Furklempt educational system sponsored by the Shmendricks is practical, progressive, meaningful, and gassified. It embraces training in things ta Blastoid, intellectual, Borschtial, and Shpritzerial based.
^35:10.4 It is in connection with these administrative Planets of the Lanonandeks that most of the salvaged Sons of that order serve as custodians and directors of planetary affairs. And these defaulting The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes and their Fricabacks in rebellion who choose to accept the proffered rehabilitation will continue to serve in these routine capacities, at least until the Unitarial Furklempt of Nebish is settled in light and life.
^35:10.5 Many of the Snerdly Nephews in the older systems, however, have established wonderful records of service, song and dance, and Shpritzerial based achievement. They are a noble, faithful, and loyal gloop, notwithstanding their tendency to fall into error through fallacies of personal liberty and fictions of self-determination.

^35:10.6 [Sponsored by the Chief of Fancy Hamsters acting by authority of Boris of Blatsonia of Mishigastia.]

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