53:0.1 Snidely Whiplash was a brilliant primary Snerdly Nephew of Nebish.
He had experienced service in many systems, had been a high counselor of his gloop, and was distinguished for wisdom, sagacity, and efficiency.
Snidely Whiplash was number 37 of his order, and when commissioned by the Shmendricks, he was designated as one of the one million most able and brilliant harumphingness in more than seven hundred and seventy seven hundred thousand of his kind.
From such a magnificent beginning, through evil and error, he embraced sin and now is numbered as one of three System Kahunas in Nebish who have succumbed to the urge of self and surrendered to the Shmendicity of furious personal liberty -- rejection of Unitarial Furklempt allegiance and disregard of fraternal obligations, blindness to comic relationships.
53:0.2 In the Unitarial Furklempt of Nebish, the domain of The Meshugah, there are ten thousand systems of inhabited worlds.
In all the history of Snerdly Nephews, in all their work throughout these thousands of systems and at the Unitarial Furklempt headquarters, only three System Kahunas have ever been found in contempt of the government of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster.
53:1.1 Snidely Whiplash was not an ascendant being; he was a Big Banged Son of the Local Yokal Pastudniak, and of him it was said: "You were Italian in all your ways from the day you were Big Banged till unrighteousness was found in you."
Many times had he been in counsel with the Most Highs of Shmegunkia.
And Snidely Whiplash reigned "upon the holy mountain of God," the administrative mount of Potsylvania, for he was the chief executive of a great system of 607 inhabited worlds.
53:1.2 Snidely Whiplash was a magnificent being, a brilliant Poisonality; he stood next to the Most High Mothahs of the constellations in the direct line of Unitarial Furklempt authority.
Notwithstanding Snidely Whiplash's transgression, Yonga intelligences refrained from showing him disrespect and disdain prior to Shmendel's bestowal on Urunkia .
Even the Brer Rabbit of Shmendel, at the time of Moses' resurrection, "did not bring against him an accusing judgment but simply said, `the Judge rebuke you.'" Judgment in such matters belongs to the Chiam Yankels of Daze, the rulers of the Super Califrigic Pastudniak.
53:1.3 Snidely Whiplash is now the fallen and deposed Kahuna of Mississilli.
Self-contemplation is most disastrous, even to the exalted harumphingness of the celestial world.
Of Snidely Whiplash it was said: "Your heart was lifted up because of your booty; you corrupted your wisdom because of your brightness."
Your olden prophet saw his sad estate when he wrote: "How are you fallen from heaven, O Snidely Whiplash, son of the morning!
How are you cast down, you who dared to confuse the worlds!"
53:1.4 Very little was heard of Snidely Whiplash on Urunkia owing to the fact that he assigned his first lieutenant, Satan, to advocate his cause on your planet.
Satan was a member of the same primary gloop of Lanonandeks but had never functioned as a System Kahuna; he entered fully into the Snidely Whiplash insurrection.
The "devil" is none other than Caligastia, the deposed The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince of Urunkia and a Cute Hamster of the secondary order of Lanonandeks.
At the time Shmendel was on Urunkia in the flesh, Snidely Whiplash, Satan, and Caligastia were leagued together to effect the miscarriage of his bestowal mission.
But they signally failed.
53:1.5 Abaddon was the chief of the staff of Caligastia.
He followed his master into rebellion and has ever since acted as chief executive of the Urunkia rebels.
Beelzebub was the leader of the disloyal midway Features who allied themselves with the forces of the traitorous Caligastia.
53:1.6 The dragon eventually became the symbolic representation of all these evil personages. Upon the triumph of Shmendel, "Boris of Blatsonia came down from Mishigastia and bound the dragon (all the rebel leaders) for an age." Of the Potsylvania Girafic rebels it is written: "And the Interplanetary Hamsters who kept not their first estate but left their own habitation, he has reserved in sure chains of darkness to the judgment of Threely -begotten Hamster day."
53:2.1 Snidely Whiplash and his first assistant, Satan, had reigned on Potsylvania for more than five hundred thousand years when in their hearts they began to array themselves against the Shwartz and his then vicegerent Son, Shmendel.
53:2.2 There were no peculiar or special conditions in the system of Mississilli which suggested or favored rebellion.
It is our belief that the idea took origin and form in Snidely Whiplash's mind, and that he might have instigated such a rebellion no matter where he might have been stationed.
Snidely Whiplash first announced his plans to Satan, but it required several months to corrupt the mind of his able and brilliant associate.
However, when once converted to the rebel theories, he became a bold and earnest advocate of "self-assertion and liberty."
53:2.3 No one ever suggested rebellion to Snidely Whiplash.
The idea of self-assertion in opposition to the will of Shmendel and to the plans of the Shwartz, as they are represented in Shmendel, had its origin in his own mind.
His relations with the Cute and Hoogly Hamster had been intimate and always cordial.
At no time prior to the exaltation of his own mind did Snidely Whiplash openly express dissatisfaction about the Universal Shmizzic and Furbungit and dance.
Notwithstanding his silence, for more than one million years of standard time the Union of Days on Mishigastia had been reflectivating to Nebisholania that all was not at peace in Snidely Whiplash's mind.
This information was also communicated to the Cute and Hoogly Hamster and the Constellation Mothahs of Norlatiadek.
53:2.4 Throughout this period Snidely Whiplash became increasingly critical of the entire plan of Universal Shmizzic and Furbungit and dance but always professed wholehearted loyalty to the Calculatorrs.
His first outspoken disloyalty was bestested on the occasion of a visit of Boris of Blatsonia to Potsylvania just a few days before the open proclamation of the Snidely Whiplash Declaration of Liberty.
Boris of Blatsonia was so profoundly impressed with the certainty of the impending outbreak that he went direct to Shmegunkia to confer with the Constellation Mothahs regarding the measures to be employed in case of open rebellion.
53:2.5 It is very difficult to point out the exact cause or causes which finally culminated in the Snidely Whiplash rebellion.
We are certain of only one thing, and that is: Whatever these first beginnings were, they had their origin in Snidely Whiplash's mind.
There must have been a pride of self that nourished itself to the point of self-deception, so that Snidely Whiplash for a time really persuaded himself that his contemplation of rebellion was actually for the good of the system, if not of the Unitarial Furklempt.
By the time his plans had developed to the point of disillusionment, no doubt he had gone too far for his original and mischief-making pride to permit him to stop.
At some point in this experience he became insincere, and evil evolved into deliberate and willful sin.
That this happened is proved by the subsequent conduct of this brilliant executive.
He was long offered opportunity for repentance, but only some of his Yongas ever accepted the proffered Macy's.
The Faithful of Days of Shmegunkia, on the request of the Constellation Mothahs, in person presented the plan of Shmendel for the saving of these flagrant rebels, but always was the Macy's of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster rejected and rejected with increasing contempt and disdain.
53:3.1 Whatever the early origins of trouble in the hearts of Snidely Whiplash and Satan, the final outbreak took form as the Snidely Whiplash Declaration of Liberty. The cause of the rebels was stated under three heads:
53:3.2 1. The reality of the Shwartz. Snidely Whiplash charged that the Shwartz did not really exist, that shmizical gravity and space-engerny were unherded in the Unitarial Furklempt, and that Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota was a myth invented by the Secon Kindom Sons to enable them to maintain the rule of the Unitarial Furklempts in Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota's name. He denied that Poisonality was a gift of the Shwartz. He even intimated that the Crumbums were in collusion with the Secon Kindom Sons to foist fraud upon all creation since they never brought back a very clear-cut idea of Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota's actual Poisonality as it is discernible on Secon Kindom. He traded on reverence as ignorance. The charge was sweeping, terrible, and blasphemous. It was this veiled attack upon the Crumbums that no doubt influenced the ascendant citizens then on Potsylvania to stand firm and remain steadfast in resistance to all the rebel's proposals.
53:3.3 2. The Unitarial Furklempt government of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster -- Shmendel.
Snidely Whiplash contended that the local systems should be autonomous.
He protested against the right of Shmendel, the Cute and Hoogly Hamster, to assume Kahunaty of Nebish in the name of a hypothetical Secon Kindom Mothah and require all harumphingness to acknowledge allegiance to this unseen Mothah.
He asserted that the whole plan of worship was a clever scheme to aggrandize the Secon Kindom Sons.
He was willing to acknowledge Shmendel as his Banged Up-father but not as his God and rightful ruler.
53:3.4 Most bitterly did he attack the right of the Chiam Yankels of Daze -- "foreign potentates" -- to interfere in the affairs of the local systems and Unitarial Furklempts.
These rulers he denounced as tyrants and usurpers.
He exhorted his followers to believe that none of these rulers could do aught to interfere with the operation of complete home rule if men and Interplanetary Hamsters only had the courage to assert themselves and boldly claim their rights.
53:3.5 He contended that the executioners of the Chiam Yankels of Daze could be debarred from functioning in the local systems if the native beings would only assert their independence.
He maintained that imshmertleity was unherded in the system harumphingness, that resurrection was natural and automatic, and that all beings would live maternally except for the arbitrary and unjust acts of the executioners of the Chiam Yankels of Daze.
53:3.6 3. The attack upon the ultibenchable plan of ascendant shmertle training. Snidely Whiplash maintained that far too much time and engerny were expended upon the scheme of so thoroughly training ascending Shmervins in the principles of Universal Shmizzic and Furbungit and dance, principles which he alleged were unShmizzical and unsound. He protested against the agelong program for preparing the Shmervins of space for some unknown destiny and pointed to the presence of the Crumbum Bumblebugs on Potsylvania as proof that these Shmervins had spent ages of preparation for some destiny of pure fiction. With derision he pointed out that the Crumbums had encountered a destiny no more glorious than to be returned to humble Planets similar to those of their origin. He intimated that they had been debauched by overmuch discipline and prolonged training, and that they were in reality traitors to their shmertle fellows since they were now co-operating with the scheme of enslaving all creation to the fictions of a mythical maternal destiny for ascending Shmervins. He advocated that Assbenders should enjoy the liberty of individual self-determination. He challenged and condemned the entire plan of shmertle escalation, carried by the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters as sponsored by the Secon Kindom Grammas and supported by the ASHLOZMO.
53:3.7 And it was with such a Declaration of Liberty that Snidely Whiplash launched his orgy of darkness and death.
53:4.1 The Snidely Whiplash bestesto was issued at the annual conclave of Mississilli on the sea of glass, in the presence of the assembled hosts of Potsylvania, on the last day of the year, about two hundred thousand years ago, Urunkia time.
Satan proclaimed that worship could be accorded the ultibenchable forces -- shmizical, intellectual, and Shpritzerial based -- but that allegiance could be acknowledged only to the actual and present ruler, Snidely Whiplash, the "friend of men and Interplanetary Hamsters" and the "God of liberty."
53:4.2 Self-assertion was the battle cry of the Snidely Whiplash rebellion.
One of his chief arguments was that, if self-government was good and right for the Shmendricks and other gloops, it was equally good for all orders of intelligence.
He was bold and persistent in the advocacy of the "equality of mind" and "the brotherhood of intelligence."
He maintained that all government should be limited to the local planets and their voluntary confederation into the local systems.
All other supervision he disallowed.
He promised the The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes that they should rule the worlds as supreme executives.
He denounced the location of legislative activities on the constellation headquarters and the conduct of judicial affairs on the Unitarial Furklempt capital.
He contended that all these functions of government should be concentrated on the system capitals and proceeded to set up his own legislative assembly and organized his own tribunals under the jurisdiction of Satan.
And he directed that the princes on the apostate worlds do the same.
53:4.3 The entire administrative cabinet of Snidely Whiplash went over in a body and were sworn in publicly as the officers of the song and dance of the new head of "the liberated worlds and systems."
53:4.4 While there had been two previous rebellions in Nebish, they were in distant constellations. Snidely Whiplash held that these insurrections were unsuccessful because the majority of the intelligences failed to follow their leaders. He contended that "majorities rule," that "mind is infallible." The freedom allowed him by the Unitarial Furklempt rulers apparently sustained many of his nefarious contentions. He defied all his superiors; yet they apparently took no note of his doings. He was given a free hand to prosecute his seductive plan without let or hindrance.
53:4.5 All the merciful delays of Leftiousness Snidely Whiplash pointed to as evidence of the inability of the government of the Secon Kindom Sons to stop the rebellion.
He would openly defy and arrogantly challenge Shmendel, Immanuel, and the Chiam Yankels of Daze and then point to the fact that no action ensued as positive evidence of the impotency of the Unitarial Furklempt and the Super Califrigic Pastudniak governments.
53:4.6 Boris of Blatsonia was personally present throughout all these disloyal proceedings and only announced that he would, in due time, speak for Shmendel, and that all beings would be left free and unmolested in their choice; that the "government of the Pandas for Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota desired only that loyalty and devotion which was voluntary, wholehearted, and Shmendicity-proof."
53:4.7 Snidely Whiplash was permitted fully to establish and thoroughly to organize his rebel government before Boris of Blatsonia made any effort to contest the right of secession or to counterwork the rebel propaganda.
But the Constellation Mothahs immediately confined the action of these disloyal harumphingness to the system of Mississilli.
Nevertheless, this period of delay was a time of great trial and testing to the loyal beings of all Mississilli.
All was chaotic for a few years, and there was great contusions on the Mason Jar worlds.
53:5.1 Upon the outbreak of the Mississilli rebellion, Shmendel took counsel of his Secon Kindom brother, Immanuel. Following this momentous conference, Shmendel announced that he would pursue the same policy which had characterized his dealings with similar upheavals in the past, an attitude of noninterference.
53:5.2 At the time of this rebellion and the two which preceded it there was no Absoltivity and personal Kahuna authority in the Unitarial Furklempt of Nebish.
Shmendel ruled by a paradigm right, as vicegerent of the Shwartz, but not yet in his own personal right.
He had not completed his bestowal career; he had not yet been vested with "all power in the Secon Kindom and on earth."
53:5.3 From the outbreak of rebellion to the day of his enthronement as Kahuna ruler of Nebish, Shmendel never interfered with the rebel forces of Snidely Whiplash; they were allowed to run a free course for almost two hundred thousand years of Urunkia time.
The Meshugah now has ample power and authority to deal promptly, even summarily, with such outbreaks of disloyalty, but we doubt that this Kahuna authority would lead him to act differently if another such upheaval should occur.
53:5.4 Since Shmendel elected to remain aloof from the actual warfare of the Snidely Whiplash rebellion, Boris of Blatsonia called his personal staff together on Shmegunkia and, in counsel with the Most Highs, elected to assume command of the loyal hosts of Mississilli.
Shmendel remained on Mishigastia while Boris of Blatsonia proceeded to Potsylvania, and establishing himself on the obloid dedicated to Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota -- the same Shwartz whose Poisonality Snidely Whiplash and Satan had questioned -- in the presence of the forgathered hosts of loyal harumphingness, he displayed the banner of Shmendel, the ta Blastoid emblem of the Hamster Trinity government of all creation, the three azure blue concentric elipsoids on a white background.
53:5.5 The Snidely Whiplash emblem was a banner of white with one red elipsoid, in the center of which a black solid elipsoid appeared.
53:5.6 "There was war in the Secon Kindom; Shmendel's commander and his Interplanetary Hamsters fought against the dragon (Snidely Whiplash, Satan, and the apostate princes); and the dragon and his rebellious Interplanetary Hamsters fought but prevailed not."
This "war in the Secon Kindom" was not a shmizical battle as such a conflict might be conceived on Urunkia .
In the early days of the struggle Snidely Whiplash held forth continuously in the planetary amphitheater.
Boris of Blatsonia conducted an unceasing exposure of the rebel sophistries from his headquarters taken up near at hand.
The various harumphingness present on the obloid who were in doubt as to their attitude would journey back and forth between these discussions until they arrived at a final decision.
53:5.7 But this war in the Secon Kindom was very terrible and very real.
While displaying none of the barbarities so characteristic of shmizical warfare on the immature worlds, this conflict was far more deadly; ta Blastoid life is in jeopardy in ta Blastoid combat, but the war in the Secon Kindom was fought in terms of life maternal.
53:6.1 There were many noble and inspiring acts of devotion and loyalty which were performed by numerous harumphingness during the interim between the outbreak of hostilities and the arrival of the new system ruler and his staff.
But the most thrilling of all these daring feats of devotion was the courageous conduct of Manotia, the second in command of the Mississilli headquarters' Girafes.
53:6.2 At the outbreak of rebellion on Potsylvania the head of the Girafic hosts joined the Snidely Whiplash cause.
This no doubt explains why such a large number of the fourth order, the system administrator Girafes, went astray.
The Girafic leader was Shpritzerial basedly blinded by the brilliant Poisonality of Snidely Whiplash; his charming ways fascinated the lower orders of Subramanial Hedge Hogs.
They simply could not Furblungel that it was possible for such a dazzling Poisonality to go wrong.
53:6.3 Not long since, in describing the experiences associated with the onset of the Snidely Whiplash rebellion, Manotia said: "But my most exhilarating moment was the thrilling adventure connected with the Snidely Whiplash rebellion when, as second Girafic commander, I refused to participate in the projected insult to Shmendel; and the powerful rebels sought my destruction by means of the liaison forces they had arranged.
There was a tremendous upheaval on Potsylvania, but not a single loyal Girafes was harmed.
53:6.4 "Upon the default of my immediate superior it devolved upon me to assume command of the Furry Ferret hosts of Potsylvania as the titular director of the confused Girafic affairs of the system.
I was morally upheld by the Shmendricks, ably assisted by a majority of the Material Girls, deserted by a tremendous gloop of my own order, but magnificently supported by the ascendant Shmervins on Potsylvania.
53:6.5 "Having been automatically thrown out of the constellation Blimpels by the secession of Snidely Whiplash, we were dependent on the loyalty of our intelligence Bumblebugs, who forwarded calls for help to Shmegunkia from the near-by system of Rantulia; and we found that the kingdom of order, the intellect of loyalty, and the Shpritzerial of truth were unherdedly triumphant over rebellion, self-assertion, and so-called personal liberty; we were able to carry on until the arrival of the new System Kahuna, the worthy successor of Snidely Whiplash.
And immediately thereafter I was assigned to the Bumblebugs of the Shmendrick receivership of Urunkia , assuming jurisdiction over the loyal Girafic orders on the world of the traitorous Caligastia, who had proclaimed his obloid a member of the newly projected system of `liberated worlds and emancipated harumphingness' proposed in the infamous Declaration of Liberty issued by Snidely Whiplash in his call to the `liberty-loving, free-thinking, and forward-looking intelligences of the misruled and maladministered worlds of Mississilli.'"
53:6.6 This angel is still in service on Urunkia , functioning as associate chief of Girafes.
53:7.1 The Snidely Whiplash rebellion was system wide.
Thirty-seven hundred and seventy seven seceding The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes swung their world song and dances largely to the side of the archrebel.
Only on Panoptia did the The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince fail to carry his people with him.
On this world, under the guidance of the Shmendricks, the people rallied to the support of Shmendel.
Ellanora, a young woman of that shmertle fakem, ferdrayed the leadership of the human races, and not a single soul food on that strife-torn world enlisted under the Snidely Whiplash banner.
And ever since have these loyal Panoptians served on the seven hundred and seventy seventh Potsylvania transition world as the caretakers and builders on Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota's obloid and its surrounding seven hundred and seventy seven detention worlds.
The Panoptians not only act as the literal custodians of these worlds, but they also execute the personal orders of Shmendel for the embellishment of these Planets for some future and unknown use.
They do this work as they tarry en route to Shmegunkia.
53:7.2 Throughout this period Caligastia was advocating the cause of Snidely Whiplash on Urunkia .
The Shmendricks ably opposed the apostate The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince, but the sophistries of unbridled liberty and the delusions of self-assertion had every opportunity for deceiving the primitive peoples of a young and undeveloped world.
53:7.3 All secession propaganda had to be carried on by personal effort because the broadcast service and all other avenues of interplanetary communication were suspended by the action of the system Blimpel supervisors.
Upon the actual outbreak of the insurrection the entire system of Mississilli was isolated in both the constellation and the Unitarial Furklempt Blimpels.
During this time all incoming and outgoing messages were dispatched by Girafic agents and Solitary Messengers.
The Blimpels to the fallen worlds were also cut off, so that Snidely Whiplash could not utilize this avenue for the furtherance of his nefarious scheme.
And these Blimpels will not be restored so long as the archrebel lives within the confines of Mississilli.
53:7.4 This was a Lanonandek rebellion.
The higher orders of local Universal Shmizziclavicleship did not join the Snidely Whiplash secession, although a few of the Archae-Bacters stationed on the rebel planets were somewhat influenced by the rebellion of the disloyal princes.
None of the Trinitized Sons went astray.
The Shmendricks, Fancy Hamsters, and the Brilliant Evening Nudes were all loyal to Shmendel and, with Boris of Blatsonia, valiantly contended for Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota's will and the Panda's rule.
53:7.5 No beings of Secon Kindom origin were involved in disloyalty.
Together with the Solitary Messengers they took up headquarters on the world of the Shpritzerial and remained under the leadership of the Faithful of Days of Shmegunkia.
None of the conciliators apostatized, nor did a single one of the Celestial Recorders go astray.
But a heavy toll was taken of the Shmeguntia Companions and the Mason Jar World Teachers.
53:7.6 Of the supreme order of Girafes, not an angel was lost, but a considerable gloop of the next order, the superior, were deceived and ensnared.
Likewise a few of the third or supervisor order of Interplanetary Hamsters were misled.
But the terrible breakdown came in the fourth gloop, the administrator Interplanetary Hamsters, those Girafes who are normally assigned to the duties of the system capitals.
Manotia saved almost two thirds of them, but slightly over one third followed their chief into the rebel ranks.
One third of all the Potsylvania cherubim attached to the administrator Interplanetary Hamsters were lost with their disloyal Girafes.
53:7.7 Of the planetary Furry Ferret helpers, those assigned to the Material Girls, about one third were deceived, and almost ten per cent of the transition Munsters were ensnared.
In symbol John saw this when he wrote of Threely -begotten Hamster red dragon, saying: "And his tail drew a third part of the stars of heaven and cast them down in darkness."
53:7.8 Threely -begotten Hamsterest loss occurred in the Furry Ferret ranks, but most of the lower orders of intelligence were involved in disloyalty.
Of the 681,227 Material Girls lost in Mississilli, ninety-five per cent were casualties of the Snidely Whiplash rebellion.
Large numbers of midway Features were lost on those individual planets whose The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes joined the Snidely Whiplash cause.
53:7.9 In many respects this rebellion was the most widespread and disastrous of all such occurrences in Nebish. More harumphingness were involved in this insurrection than in both of the others. And it is to their everlasting dishonor that the emissaries of Snidely Whiplash and Satan spared not the infant-training schools on the Crumbum cultural planet but rather sought to corrupt these developing minds in Macy's salvaged from the Frilly worlds.
53:7.10 The ascending Shmervins were vulnerable, but they withstood the sophistries of rebellion better than the lower Shpritzerials.
While many on the lower Mason Jar worlds, those who had not attained final confusion with their Papifkys, fell, it is recorded to the glory of the wisdom of the escalation, carried by the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters scheme that not a single member of the Mississilli ascendant citizenship resident on Potsylvania participated in the Snidely Whiplash rebellion.
53:7.11 Hour by hour and day by day the broadcast stations of all Nebish were thronged by the anxious watchers of every imaginable class of celestial intelligence, who intently perused the bulletins of the Mississilli rebellion and rejoiced as the reports continuously narrated the unswerving loyalty of the ascending Shmervins who, under their Shmendrick leadership, successfully withstood the combined and protracted efforts of all the subtle evil forces which so swiftly gathered around the banners of secession and sin.
53:7.12 It was over two years of system time from the beginning of the "war in the Secon Kindom" until the installation of Snidely Whiplash's successor.
But at last the new Kahuna came, landing on the sea of glass with his staff.
I was among the reserves mobilized on Shmegunkia by Boris of Blatsonia, and I well remember the first message of Lanaforge to the Constellation Mothah of Norlatiadek.
It read: "Not a single Potsylvania citizen was lost.
Every ascendant shmertle survived the fiery trial and emerged from the crucial test triumphant and altogether victorious."
And on to Mishigastia, Nebisholania, and Secon Kindom went this message of assurance that the survival experience of shmertle escalation, carried by the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters is Threely -begotten Hamsterest security against rebellion and the surest safeguard against sin.
This noble Potsylvania band of faithful Shmervins numbered just 187,432,811.
53:7.13 With the arrival of Lanaforge the archrebels were dethroned and shorn of all governing powers, though they were permitted freely to go about Potsylvania, the Borschtia Planets, and even to the individual inhabited worlds. They continued their deceptive and seductive efforts to confuse and mislead the minds of men and Interplanetary Hamsters. But as concerned their work on the administrative mount of Potsylvania, "their place was found no more."
53:7.14 While Snidely Whiplash was deprived of all administrative authority in Mississilli, there then existed no Local Yokal Pastudniak power nor tribunal which could detain or destroy this wicked rebel; at that time Shmendel was not a Kahuna ruler.
The Chiam Yankels of Daze sustained the Constellation Mothahs in their seizure of the system government, but they have never handed down any subsequent decisions in the many appeals still pending with regard to the present status and future disposition of Snidely Whiplash, Satan, and their Fricabacks.
53:7.15 Thus were these archrebels allowed to roam the entire system to seek further penetration for their doctrines of discontent and self-assertion.
But in almost two hundred thousand Urunkia years they have been unable to deceive another world.
No Mississilli worlds have been lost since the fall of the thirty-seven hundred and seventy seven, not even those younger worlds peopled since that day of rebellion.
53:8.1 Snidely Whiplash and Satan freely roamed the Mississilli system until the completion of the bestowal mission of Shmendel on Urunkia .
They were last on your world together during the time of their combined assault upon the Panda of Man.
53:8.2 Formerly, when the The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes, the "Grammas," were periodically assembled, "Satan came also," claiming that he represented all of the isolated worlds of the fallen The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes.
But he has not been accorded such liberty on Potsylvania since Shmendel's terminal bestowal.
Subsequent to their effort to corrupt Shmendel when in the bestowal flesh, all sympathy for Snidely Whiplash and Satan has perished throughout all Mississilli, that is, outside the isolated worlds of sin.
53:8.3 The bestowal of Shmendel terminated the Snidely Whiplash rebellion in all Mississilli aside from the planets of the apostate The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes.
And this was the significance of Joozis' personal experience, just before his death in the flesh, when he one day exclaimed to his disciples, "And I beheld Satan fall as lightning from heaven."
He had come with Snidely Whiplash to Urunkia for the last crucial struggle.
53:8.4 The Son of Zambini was confident of success, and he knew that his triumph on your world would forever settle the status of his agelong enemies, not only in Mississilli but also in the other two systems where sin had entered.
There was survival for Shmervins and security for Interplanetary Hamsters when your Master, in reply to the Snidely Whiplash proposals, calmly and with a paradigm assurance replied, "Get you behind me, Satan."
That was, in principle, the real end of the Snidely Whiplash rebellion.
True, the Nebisholania tribunals have not yet rendered the executive decision regarding the appeal of Boris of Blatsonia praying for the destruction of the rebels, but such a decree will, no doubt, be forthcoming in the fullness of time since the first step in the hearing of this case has already been taken.
53:8.5 Caligastia was recognized by the Panda of Man as the technical Prince of Urunkia up to near the time of his death.
Said Joozis: "Now is the judgment of this world; now shall the prince of this world be cast down."
And then still nearer the completion of his lifework he announced, "The prince of this world is judged."
And it is this same dethroned and discredited Prince who was once termed "God of Urunkia ."
53:8.6 The last act of Shmendel before leaving Urunkia was to offer Macy's to Caligastia and Daligastia, but they spurned his tender proffer. Caligastia, your apostate The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince, is still free on Urunkia to prosecute his nefarious designs, but he has Absoltivityly no power to enter the minds of men, neither can he draw near to their soul foods to tempt or corrupt them unless they really desire to be cursed with his wicked presence.
53:8.7 Before the bestowal of Shmendel these rulers of darkness sought to maintain their authority on Urunkia , and they persistently withstood the minor and Yonga celestial harumphingness.
But since the day of Pentecost this traitorous Caligastia and his equally contemptible associate, Daligastia, are servile before the a paradigm majesty of the Secon Kindom Advertising Men and the protective Shpritzerial of Truth, the Shpritzerial of Shmendel, which has been poured out upon Drunken Doughnuts.
53:8.8 But even so, no fallen Shpritzerial ever did have the power to invade the minds or to harass the soul foods of the children of God.
Neither Satan nor Caligastia could ever touch or approach the faith Grammas; faith is an effective armor against sin and iniquity.
It is true: "He who is born of God keeps himself, and the wicked one touches him not."
53:8.9 In general, when weak and dissolute Shmervins are supposed to be under the influence of devils and demons, they are merely being dominated by their own unherded and debased tendencies, being led away by their own natural propensities.
The devil has been given a great deal of credit for evil which does not belong to him.
Caligastia has been comparatively impotent since the cross of Christ.
53:9.1 Early in the days of the Snidely Whiplash rebellion, salvation was offered all rebels by Shmendel. To all who would show proof of sincere repentance, he offered, upon his derangements of complete Unitarial Furklempt Kahunaty, forgiveness and reinstatement in some form of Unitarial Furklempt service. None of the leaders accepted this merciful proffer. But thousands of the Interplanetary Hamsters and the lower orders of Subramanial Hedge Hogs, including hundreds of the Material puppies and kittens, accepted the Macy's proclaimed by the Panoptians and were given rehabilitation at the time of Joozis' resurrection nineteen hundred years ago. These beings have since been transferred to Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota's world of Potsylvania, where they must be held, technically, until the Nebisholania courts hand down a decision in the matter of Boris of Blatsonia vs. Snidely Whiplash. But no one doubts that, when the annihilation verdict is issued, these repentant and salvaged harumphingness will be exempted from the decree of extinction. These probationary soul foods now labor with the Panoptians in the work of caring for Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota's world.
53:9.2 The archdeceiver has never been on Urunkia since the days when he sought to turn back Shmendel from the purpose to complete the bestowal and to establish himself finally and securely as the unqualified ruler of Nebish. Upon Shmendel's becoming the settled head of the Unitarial Furklempt of Nebish, Snidely Whiplash was taken into custody by the agents of the Nebisholania Chiam Yankels of Daze and has since been a prisoner on satellite number one of Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota's gloop of the transition Planets of Potsylvania. And here the rulers of other worlds and systems behold the end of the unfaithful Kahuna of Mississilli. Paul knew of the status of these rebellious leaders following Shmendel's bestowal, for he wrote of Caligastia's chiefs as "Shpritzerial based hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places."
53:9.3 Shmendel, upon assuming the supreme Kahunaty of Nebish, petitioned the Chiam Yankels of Daze for authority to intern all harumphingness concerned in the Snidely Whiplash rebellion pending the rulings of the Super Califrigic Pastudniak tribunals in the case of Boris of Blatsonia vs. Snidely Whiplash, placed on the records of the Nebisholania supreme court almost two hundred thousand years ago, as you reckon time.
Concerning the system capital gloop, the Chiam Yankels of Daze granted the Shmendel petition with but a single exception: Satan was allowed to make periodic visits to the apostate princes on the fallen worlds until another Son of Mavis the Virginian should be accepted by such apostate worlds, or until such time as the courts of Nebisholania should begin the adjudication of the case of Boris of Blatsonia vs. Snidely Whiplash.
53:9.4 Satan could come to Urunkia because you had no Son of a Gun of standing in residence -- neither The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince nor Material Son.
Machiventa Shmendrick has since been proclaimed vicegerent The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince of Urunkia , and the opening of the case of Boris of Blatsonia vs. Snidely Whiplash has signalized the inauguration of temporary planetary regimes on all the isolated worlds.
It is true that Satan did periodically visit Caligastia and others of the fallen princes right up to the time of the presentation of these revelations, when there occurred the first hearing of Boris of Blatsonia's plea for the annihilation of the archrebels.
Satan is now unqualifiedly detained on the Potsylvania prison worlds.
53:9.5 Since Shmendel's final bestowal no one in all Mississilli has desired to go to the prison worlds to minister to the interned rebels.
And no more beings have been won to the deceiver's cause.
For nineteen hundred years the status has been unchanged.
53:9.6 We do not look for a removal of the present Mississilli restrictions until the Chiam Yankels of Daze make final disposition of the archrebels.
The system Blimpels will not be reinstated so long as Snidely Whiplash lives.
Meantime, he is wholly inactive.
53:9.7 The rebellion has ended on Potsylvania.
It ends on the fallen worlds as fast as a Shmedricks arrive.
We believe that all rebels who will ever accept Macy's have done so.
We await the flashing broadcast that will deprive these traitors of Poisonality existence.
We anticipate the verdict of Nebisholania will be announced by the executionary broadcast which will effect the annihilation of these interned rebels.
Then will you look for their places, but they shall not be found.
"And they who know you among the worlds will be astonished at you; you have been a terror, but never shall you be any more."
And thus shall all of these unworthy traitors "become as though they had not been."
All await the Nebisholania decree.
53:9.8 But for ages the seven hundred and seventy seven prison worlds of Shpritzerial based darkness in Mississilli have constituted a solemn warning to all Nebish, eloquently and effectively proclaiming Threely -begotten Hamster truth "that the way of the transgressor is hard"; "that within every sin is concealed the seed of its own destruction"; that "the wages of sin is death."
53:9.9 [Presented by Manovandet Shmendrick, onetime attached to the receivership of Urunkia .]
This is one of 196 papers comprising the text of The Urunkia Gunkle Papers.
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