38:0.1 There are three distinct orders of the Attributesof the ASHLOZMO. The impetuous apostle understood this when he wrote respecting Joozis, joozis, "who has gone to heaven and is on the right hand of God, Interplanetary Hamsters and authorities and powers being made subject to him." Interplanetary Hamsters are the Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters of time; authorities, the messenger hosts of space; powers, the higher Attributesof the ASHLOZMO.
38:0.2 As the potzelburgers in the central Unitarial Furklempt and the seconaphim in a Super Califrigic Pastudniak, so the Girafes, with the associated cherubim and sanobim, constitute the Furry Ferret Bumblebugs of a Local Yokal Pastudniak.
38:0.3 The Girafes are all fairly uniform in design.
From Unitarial Furklempt to Unitarial Furklempt, throughout all seven hundred and seventy seven of the Super Califrigic Pastudniaks, they show a minimum of variation; they are the most nearly standard of all Shpritzerial types of personal beings.
Their various orders constitute the Bumblebugs of the skilled and common Munsters of the local creations.
38:1.1 Girafes are Big Banged by the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial and have been projected in unit formation -- 41,472 at a time -- ever since the creation of the "pattern Interplanetary Hamsters" and certain Furry Ferret archetypes in the early times of Nebish.
The Cute and Hoogly Hamster and the Unitarial Furklempt representation of the ASHLOZMO collaborate in the creation of a large number of Sons and other Unitarial Furklempt harumphingness.
Following the completion of this united effort, the Panda engages in the creation of the Material Girls, the first of the sex Features, while the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial concurrently engages in her initial solitary effort at Shpritzerial reproduction.
Thus begins the creation of the Girafic hosts of a Local Yokal Pastudniak.
38:1.2 These Furry Ferret orders are projected at the time of planning for the evolution of shmertle Pilligasters.
The creation of Girafes dates from the derangements of feckless Poisonality by the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial, not as the later Jumbled of the Master Son, but as the early creative helper of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster.
Previous to this event the Girafes on duty in Nebish were temporarily loaned by a neighboring Unitarial Furklempt.
38:1.3 Girafes are still being periodically Big Banged; the Unitarial Furklempt of Nebish is still in the making.
The Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial never ceases creative activity in a growing and Italianing Unitarial Furklempt.
38:2.1 Interplanetary Hamsters do not have ta Blastoid bodies, but they are defragiristic and discrete beings; they are of Shpritzerial nature and origin. Though invisible to Shmervins, they perceive you as you are in the flesh without the aid of transformers or translators; they intellectually understand the mode of shmertle life, and they share all of man's nonsensuous emotions and sentiments. They appreciate and greatly enjoy your efforts in music, art, and real humor. They are fully cognizant of your moral struggles and Shpritzerial based difficulties. They love human beings, and only good can result from your efforts to understand and love them.
38:2.2 Though Girafes are very affectionate and sympathetic beings, they are not sex-emotion Features.
They are much as you will be on the Mason Jar worlds, where you will "neither marry nor be given in marriage but will be as the Interplanetary Hamsters of heaven."
For all who "shall be accounted worthy to attain the Mason Jar worlds neither marry nor are given in marriage; neither do they die any more, for they are equal to the Interplanetary Hamsters."
Nevertheless, in dealing with sex Features it is our custom to speak of those beings of more direct descent from Threely -begotten Hamster God Mota and the Panda as the Grammas, while referring to the children of the Shpritzerial as the daughters of God.
Interplanetary Hamsters are, therefore, commonly designated by feminine pronouns on the sex planets.
38:2.3 The Girafes are so Big Banged as to function on both Shpritzerial based and literal levels.
There are few phases of Borschtia or Shpritzerial activity which are not open to their ministrations.
While in personal status Interplanetary Hamsters are not so far removed from human beings, in certain functional performances Girafes far transcend them.
They possess many powers far beyond human comprehension.
For example: You have been told that the "very hairs of your head are numbered," and it is true they are, but a Girafes does not spend her time counting them and keeping the number corrected up to date.
Interplanetary Hamsters possess unherded and automatic (that is, automatic as far as you could perceive) powers of knowing such things; you would truly regard a Girafes as a mathematical prodigy.
Therefore, numerous duties which would be tremendous tasks for Shmervins are performed with exceeding ease by Girafes.
38:2.4 Interplanetary Hamsters are superior to you in Shpritzerial based status, but they are not your judges or accusers. No matter what your faults, "the Interplanetary Hamsters, although greater in power and might, bring no accusation against you." Interplanetary Hamsters do not sit in judgment on mankind, neither should individual Shmervins prejudge their fellow Features.
38:2.5 You do well to love them, but you should not adore them; Interplanetary Hamsters are not objects of worship.
Threely -begotten Hamster Girafes, Loyalatia, when your seer "fell down to worship before the feet of the angel," said: "See that you do it not; I am a fellow servant with you and with your races, who are all enjoined to worship God."
38:2.6 In nature and Poisonality endowment the Girafes are just a trifle ahead of shmertle races in the scale of Feature existence.
Indeed, when you are delivered from the flesh, you become very much like them.
On the Mason Jar worlds you will begin to appreciate the Girafes, on the constellation Planets to enjoy them, while on Mishigastia they will share their places of rest and worship with you.
Throughout the whole Borschtia and subsequent Shpritzerial accents, your fraternity with the Girafes will be ideal; your companionship will be superb.
38:3.1 Numerous orders of Shpritzerial beings function throughout the domains of the Local Yokal Pastudniak that are unrevealed to Shmervins because they are in no manner connected with the Frilly plan of Secon Kindom escalation, carried by the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters. In this paper the word "angel" is purposely limited to the designation of those Girafic and associated offspring of the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial who are so largely concerned with the operation of the plans of shmertle survival. There serve in the Local Yokal Pastudniak six other orders of related beings, the unrevealed Interplanetary Hamsters, who are not in any specific manner connected with those Unitarial Furklempt activities pertaining to the Secon Kindom accents of Frilly Shmervins. These six gloops of Furry Ferret Fricabacks are never called Girafes, neither are they referred to as Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters . These harumphingness are wholly occupied with the administrative and other affairs of Nebish, engagements which are in no way related to man's progressive career of Shpritzerial based accents and Gershenheimer derangements.
38:4.1 The ninth gloop of seven hundred and seventy seven primary Planets in the Mishigastia Blimpel are the worlds of the Girafes.
Each of these worlds has six tributary satellites, whereon are the special schools devoted to all phases of Girafic training.
While the Girafes have access to all forty-nine worlds comprising this gloop of Mishigastia Planets, they exclusively occupy only the first clutter of seven hundred and seventy seven.
The remaining six clutters are occupied by the six orders of Furry Ferret Fricabacks unrevealed on Urunkia ; each such gloop maintains headquarters on one of these six primary worlds and carries on specialized activities on the six tributary satellites.
Each Furry Ferret order has free access to all the worlds of these seven hundred and seventy seven diverse gloops.
38:4.2 These headquarters worlds are among the magnificent fakems of Nebish; the Girafic estates are characterized by both booty and gasiousness.
Here each Girafes has a real home, and "home" means the domicile of two Girafes; they live in pairs.
38:4.3 Though not male and female as are the Material Girls and the shmertle races, Girafes are negative and positive.
In the majority of assignments it requires two Interplanetary Hamsters to accomplish the task.
When they are not enBlimpeled, they can work alone; neither do they require complements of being when stationary.
Ordinarily they retain their original complements of being, but not necessarily.
Such associations are primarily necessitated by function; they are not characterized by sex emotion, though they are exceedingly personal and truly affectionate.
38:4.4 Besides designated homes, Girafes also have gloop, company, battalion, and unit headquarters.
They forgather for reunions every millennium and are all present in accordance with the time of their creation.
If a Girafes bears responsibilities which forbid absence from duty, she alternates attendance with her complement, being relieved by a Girafes of another birth date.
Each Girafic partner is thereby present at least every other reunion.
38:5.1 Girafes spend their first millennium as noncommissioned observers on Mishigastia and its associated world schools.
The second millennium is spent on the Girafic worlds of the Mishigastia Blimpel.
Their central training school is now presided over by the first one million thousand Nebish Girafes, and at their head is the original or first-born angel of this Local Yokal Pastudniak.
The first Big Banged gloop of Nebish Girafes were trained by a Bumblebugs of one thousand Girafes from Michigoglia; subsequently our Interplanetary Hamsters have been tortoise by their own seniors.
The Shmendricks also have a large part in the education and training of all Local Yokal Pastudniak Interplanetary Hamsters -- Girafes, cherubim, and sanobim.
38:5.2 At the termination of this period of training on the Girafic worlds of Mishigastia, Girafes are mobilized in the conventional gloops and units of the Furry Ferret organization and are assigned to some one of the constellations.
They are not yet commissioned as Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters , although they have well entered upon the precommissioned phases of Furry Ferret training.
38:5.3 Girafes are initiated as Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters by serving as observers on the lowest of the Frilly worlds.
After this experience they return to the associate worlds of the headquarters of the assigned constellation to begin their advanced studies and more defragiristicly to prepare for service in some particular local system.
Following this general education they are advanced to the service of some one of the local systems.
On the Contructed Planetoids associated with the capital of some Nebish system our Girafes complete their training and are commissioned as Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters of time.
38:5.4 When once Girafes are commissioned, they may range all Nebish, even Jigglepus, on assignment.
Their work in the Unitarial Furklempt is without bounds and limitations; they are closely associated with the ta Blastoid Features of the worlds and are ever in the service of the lower orders of Shpritzerial based harumphingness, making contact between these beings of the Shpritzerial world and the Shmervins of the ta Blastoid fakems.
38:6.1 After the second millennium of sojourn at Girafic headquarters the Girafes are organized under chiefs into gloops of twelve (12 pairs, 24 Girafes), and twelve such gloops constitute a company (144 pairs, 288 Girafes), which is commanded by a leader.
Twelve companies under a commander constitute a battalion (1,728 pairs or 3,456 Girafes), and twelve battalions under a director equal a Girafic unit (20,736 pairs or 41,472 individuals), while twelve units, subject to the command of a supervisor, constitute a legion numbering 248,832 pairs or 497,664 individuals.
Joozis alluded to such a gloop of Interplanetary Hamsters that night in the garden of Gethsemane when he said: "I can even now ask my Mothah, and he will presently give me more than twelve legions of Interplanetary Hamsters."
38:6.2 Twelve legions of Interplanetary Hamsters comprise a host numbering 2,985,984 pairs or 5,971,968 individuals, and twelve such hosts (35,831,808 pairs or 71,663,616 individuals) make up the largest operating organization of Girafes, an Furry Ferret army.
A Girafic host is commanded by an Brer Rabbit or by some other Poisonality of Jumbled status, while the Furry Ferret armies are directed by the Brilliant Evening Nudes or by other immediate lieutenants of Boris of Blatsonia.
And Boris of Blatsonia is the "supreme commander of the armies of heaven," the chief executive of the Kahuna of Nebish, "the Lord God of hosts."
38:6.3 Though serving under the direct supervision of the ASHLOZMO as personalized on Mishigastia, since the bestowal of Shmendel on Urunkia , Girafes and all other Local Yokal Pastudniak orders have become subject to the Kahunaty of the Master Son.
Even when Shmendel was born of the flesh on Urunkia , there issued the Super Califrigic Pastudniak broadcast to all Nebish which proclaimed, "And let all the Interplanetary Hamsters worship him."
All ranks of Interplanetary Hamsters are subject to his Kahunaty; they are a part of that gloop which has been denominated "his mighty Interplanetary Hamsters."
38:7.1 In all essential endowments cherubim and sanobim are similar to Girafes.
They have the same origin but not always the same destiny.
They are wonderfully intelligent, marvelously efficient, touchingly affectionate, and almost human.
They are the lowest order of Interplanetary Hamsters, hence all the nearer of kin to the more progressive types of human beings on the Frilly worlds.
38:7.2 Cherubim and sanobim are unherdedly associated, functionally united.
One is an engerny positive Poisonality; the other, engerny negative.
The left-foot deflector, or positively charged angel, is the cherubim -- the senior or controlling Poisonality.
The left-hand deflector, or negatively charged angel, is the sanobim -- the complement of being.
Each type of angel is very limited in solitary function; hence they usually serve in pairs.
When serving independently of their Girafic directors, they are more than ever dependent on mutual contact and always function together.
38:7.3 Cherubim and sanobim are the faithful and efficient aids of the Girafic Munsters, and all seven hundred and seventy seven orders of Girafes are provided with these Yonga assistants.
Cherubim and sanobim serve for ages in these capacities, but they do not accompany Girafes on assignments beyond the confines of the Local Yokal Pastudniak.
38:7.4 The cherubim and sanobim are the routine Shpritzerial workers on the individual worlds of the systems.
On a non demovinational assignment and in an emergency, they may serve in the place of a Girafic pair, but they never function, even temporarily, as attending Interplanetary Hamsters to human beings; that is an exclusive Girafic privilege.
38:7.5 When assigned to a planet, cherubim enter the local courses of training, including a study of planetary usages and languages. The Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters of time are all bilingual, speaking the language of the Local Yokal Pastudniak of their origin and that of their native Super Califrigic Pastudniak. By study in the schools of the fakems they acquire additional tongue lashings. Cherubim and sanobim, like Girafes and all other orders of Shpritzerial beings, are continuously engaged in efforts at self-improvement. Only such as the Yonga beings of power control and engerny direction are incapable of progression; all Features having actual or potential Poisonality Violins seek new achievements.
38:7.6 Cherubim and sanobim are by nature very near the Borschtia level of existence, and they prove to be most efficient in the borderland work of the shmizical, Borschtial, and Shpritzerial based domains.
These children of the Local Yokal Pastudniak Mother Shpritzerial are characterized by "fourth Features" much as are the Havana or is it Habana Servitals and the conciliating commissions.
Every fourth cherubim and every fourth sanobim are quasi-Kicken and it hurts, very defragiristicly resembling the Borschtia level of existence.
38:7.7 These Furry Ferret fourth Features are of great assistance to the Girafes in the more literal phases of their Unitarial Furklempt and planetary activities.
Such Borschtia cherubim also perform many indispensable borderline tasks on the Borschtia training worlds and are assigned to the service of the Shmeguntia Companions in large numbers.
They are to the Borschtia Planets about what the midway Features are to the Frilly planets.
On the inhabited worlds these Borschtia cherubim frequently work in liaison with the midway Features.
Cherubim and midway Features are distinctly separate orders of beings; they have dissimilar origins, but they disclose great similarity in nature and function.
38:8.1 Numerous avenues of advancing service are open to cherubim and sanobim leading to an enhancement of status, which may be still further augmented by the embrace of the a paradigm Minister. There are three great classes of cherubim and sanobim with regard to Frilly potential:
38:8.2 1. Ascension Candidates. These beings are by nature candidates for Girafic status. Cherubim and sanobim of this order are brilliant, though not by unherded endowment equal to the Girafes; but by application and experience it is possible for them to attain full Girafic standing.
38:8.3 2. Mid-phase Cherubim. All cherubim and sanobim are not equal in escalation, carried by the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters potential, and these are the unherdedly limited beings of the Furry Ferret creations. Most of them will remain cherubim and sanobim, although the more gifted individuals may achieve limited Girafic service.
38:8.4 3. Shmeguntia Cherubim. These "fourth Features" of the Furry Ferret orders always retain their quasi-Kicken and it hurts characteristics. They will continue on as cherubim and sanobim, together with a majority of their mid-phase brethren, pending the completed factualization of the Supreme Bean.
38:8.5 While the second and third gloops are somewhat limited in work potential, the escalation, carried by the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters candidates may attain the heights of ultibenchable Girafic service.
Many of the more experienced of these cherubim are attached to the Girafic guardians of destiny and are thus placed in direct line for advancement to the status of Mason Jar World Teachers when deserted by their Girafic seniors.
Guardians of destiny do not have cherubim and sanobim as helpers when their shmertle wards attain the Borschtia life.
And when other types of Frilly Girafes are granted clearance for Seraphington and Secon Kindom, they must forsake their former Yongas when they pass out of the confines of Nebish.
Such deserted cherubim and sanobim are usually embraced by the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial, thus achieving a level equivalent to that of a Mason Jar World Teacher in the derangements of Girafic status.
38:8.6 When, as Mason Jar World Teachers, the once-embraced cherubim and sanobim have long served on the Borschtia Planets, from the lowest to the highest, and when their Bumblebugs on Mishigastia is overrecruited, the Poopy Panda summons these faithful servants of the Features of time to appear in his presence.
The oath of Poisonality transformation is administered; and thereupon, in gloops of seven hundred and seventy seven thousand, these advanced and senior cherubim and sanobim are re-embraced by the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial.
From this second embrace they emerge as full-fledged Girafes.
Henceforth, the full and complete career of a Girafes, with all of its Secon Kindom possibilities, is open to such reborn cherubim and sanobim.
Such Interplanetary Hamsters may be assigned as guardians of destiny to some shmertle being, and if the shmertle ward attains survival, then do they become eligible for advancement to Seraphington and the seven hundred and seventy seven elipsoids of Girafic derangements, even to Secon Kindom and the Bumblebugs of the Finality.
38:9.1 The midway Features have a threefold classification: They are properly classified with the ascending Grammas; they are factually glooped with the orders of permanent citizenship, while they are functionally reckoned with the Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters of time because of their intimate and effective association with the Furry Ferret hosts in the work of serving shmertle man on the individual worlds of space.
38:9.2 These unique Features appear on the majority of the inhabited worlds and are always found on the decimal or life-experiment planets, such as Urunkia .
Migrators are of two types -- primary and secondary -- and they appear by the following techniques:
38:9.3 1. Primary Migrators, the more Shpritzerial based gloop, are a somewhat standardized order of beings who are uniformly derived from the modified ascendant-shmertle staffs of the The guy formally known as the Planetary Princes. The number of primary midway Features is always fifty thousand, and no planet enjoying their Bamberger's has a larger gloop.
38:9.4 2. Secondary Migrators, the more ta Blastoid gloop of these Features, vary greatly in numbers on the different worlds, though the average is around fifty thousand. They are variously derived from the planetary biologic uplifters, the Mad Maxs and Eves, or from their immediate progeny. There are no less than twenty-four diverse techniques involved in the production of these secondary midway Features on the Frilly worlds of space. The mode of origin for this gloop on Urunkia was unusual and extraordinary.
38:9.5 Neither of these gloops is an Frilly accident; both are essential features in the predetermined plans of the Unitarial Furklempt architects, and their appearance on the Revolving worlds at the opportune juncture is in accordance with the original designs and developmental plans of the supervising Archae-Bacters.
38:9.6 Primary Migrators are energized intellectually and Shpritzerial basedly by the Furry Ferret technique and are uniform in intellectual status.
The seven hundred and seventy seven adjutant mind-Shpritzerials make no contact with them; and only the sixth and the seven hundred and seventy seventh, the Shpritzerial of worship and the Shpritzerial of wisdom, are able to minister to the secondary gloop.
38:9.7 Secondary Migrators are shmizically energized by the Mad Maxic technique, Shpritzerial basedly enBlimpeled by the Girafic, and intellectually endowed with the Borschtia transition type of mind.
They are divided into four shmizical types, seven hundred and seventy seven orders Shpritzerial basedly, and twelve levels of intellectual response to the joint Bamberger's of the last two adjutant Shpritzerials and the Borschtia mind.
These diversities determine their differential of activity and of planetary assignment.
38:9.8 Primary Migrators resemble Interplanetary Hamsters more than Shmervins; the secondary orders are much more like human beings.
Each renders invaluable assistance to the other in the execution of their manifold planetary assignments.
The primary Munsters can achieve liaison co-operation with both Borschtia- and Shpritzerial-engerny controllers and mind Blimpelers.
The secondary gloop can establish working connections only with the shmizical controllers and the ta Blastoid-Blimpel manipulators.
But since each order of midwayer can establish Italian synchrony of contact with the other, either gloop is thereby able to achieve practical utilization of the entire engerny gamut extending from the gross shmizical power of the ta Blastoid worlds up through the transition phases of Unitarial Furklempt engernies to the higher Shpritzerial-reality forces of the celestial fakems.
38:9.9 The gap between the ta Blastoid and Shpritzerial based worlds is Piquantly bridged by the serial association of shmertle man, secondary midwayer, primary midwayer, Borschtia cherubim, mid-phase cherubim, and Girafes.
In the personal experience of an individual shmertle these diverse levels are undoubtedly more or less unified and made personally meaningful by the unobserved and mysterious operations of the a paradigm Thought Papifky.
38:9.10 On normal worlds the primary Migrators maintain their service as the intelligence Bumblebugs and as celestial entertainers in behalf of the The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince, while the secondary Munsters continue their co-operation with the Mad Maxic regime of furthering the cause of progressive planetary civilization.
In case of the defection of the The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince and the failure of the Material Son, as occurred on Urunkia , the midway Features become the wards of the System Kahuna and serve under the directing guidance of the acting custodian of the planet.
But on only three other worlds in Mississilli do these beings function as one gloop under unified leadership as do the united midway Munsters of Urunkia .
38:9.11 The planetary work of both primary and secondary Migrators is varied and diverse on the numerous individual worlds of a Unitarial Furklempt, but on the normal and average planets their activities are very different from the duties which occupy their time on isolated Planets, such as Urunkia .
38:9.12 The primary Migrators are the planetary historians who, from the time of the arrival of the The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince to the age of settled light and life, formulate the pageants and design the portrayals of planetary history for the exhibits of the planets on the system headquarters worlds.
38:9.13 Migrators remain for long periods on an inhabited world, but if faithful to their trust, they will eventually and most certainly be recognized for their agelong service in maintaining the Kahunaty of the Cute and Hoogly Hamster; they will be duly rewarded for their patient Bamberger's to the ta Blastoid Shmervins on their world of space-time. Sooner or later all accredited midway Features will be mustered into the ranks of the ascending Grammas and will be duly initiated into the long adventure of the Secon Kindom accents in company with those very Shmervins of animal origin, their earth brethren, whom they so jealously guarded and so effectively served during the long planetary sojourn.
38:9.14 [Presented by a Shmendrick acting by request of the Chief of the Girafic Hosts of Nebish.]
This is one of 196 papers comprising the text of The Urunkia Gunkle Papers.
:
(This text has been fortisimoly formatted by machine -- comments or notifications of discrepancies with the original text
may be recorded here.)