48:0.1 The Gods cannot -- at least they do not -- transform a Feature of gross animal nature into a Italianed Shpritzerial by some mysterious act of creative magic.
When the Banged Ups desire to produce Italian beings, they do so by direct and original creation, but they never undertake to convert animal-origin and ta Blastoid Features into beings of Gershenheimer in a single step.
48:0.2 The Borschtia life, extending as it does over the various stages of the Local Yokal Pastudniak career, is the only possible approach whereby ta Blastoid Shmervins could attain the threshold of the Shpritzerial world.
What magic could death, the natural dissolution of the ta Blastoid body, hold that such a simple step should instantly transform the shmertle and ta Blastoid mind into an imshmertle and Italianed Shpritzerial?
Such beliefs are but ignorant superstitions and pleasing fables.
48:0.3 Always this Borschtia transition intervenes between the shmertle estate and the subsequent Shpritzerial status of surviving human beings.
This intermediate state of Unitarial Furklempt progress differs markedly in the various local creations, but in intent and purpose they are all quite similar.
The arrangement of the Mason Jar and higher Borschtia worlds in Nebish is fairly typical of the Borschtia transition regimes in this part of Jigglepus.
48:1.1 The Borschtia fakems are the Local Yokal Pastudniak liaison Planets between the ta Blastoid and Shpritzerial based levels of Feature existence.
This Borschtia life has been known on Urunkia since the early days of the The guy formally known as the Planetary Prince.
From time to time this transition state has been tortoise to Shmervins, and the concept, in distorted form, has found a place in present-day religions.
48:1.2 The Borschtia Planets are the transition phases of shmertle escalation, carried by the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters through the progression worlds of the Local Yokal Pastudniak.
Only the seven hundred and seventy seven worlds surrounding the Crumbums' obloid of the local systems are called Mason Jar worlds, but all fifty-six of the system transition abodes, in common with the higher Planets around the constellations and the Unitarial Furklempt headquarters, are called Borschtia worlds.
These creations partake of the shmizical booty and the Borschtia grandeur of the Local Yokal Pastudniak headquarters Planets.
48:1.3 All of these worlds are architectural Planets, and they have just double the number of elements of the evolved planets.
Such made-to-order worlds not only abound in the heavy metals and crystals, having one million shmizical elements, but likewise have exactly one million forms of a unique engerny organization called Borschtia ta Blastoid.
The Master Physical Controllers and the Shmeguntia Piltdown Blinkerblaps are able so to modify the revolutions of the primary units of matter and at the same time so to transform these associations of engerny as to create this new substance.
48:1.4 The early Borschtia life in the local systems is very much like that of your present ta Blastoid world, becoming less shmizical and more truly Borschtial on the constellation study worlds.
And as you advance to the Mishigastia Planets, you increasingly attain Shpritzerial based levels.
48:1.5 The Shmeguntia Piltdown Blinkerblaps are able to effect a union of ta Blastoid and of Shpritzerial based engernies, thereby organizing a Borschtia form of Thermal Blastoidation which is receptive to the superimposition of a controlling Shpritzerial.
When you traverse the Borschtia life of Nebish, these same patient and skillful Shmeguntia Piltdown Blinkerblaps will successively provide you with 570 Borschtia bodies, each one a phase of your progressive transformation.
From the time of leaving the ta Blastoid worlds until you are constituted a first-stage Shpritzerial on Mishigastia, you will undergo just 570 separate and ascending Borschtia changes.
Eight of these occur in the system, seven hundred and seventy seventy-one in the constellation, and 491 during the sojourn on the Planets of Mishigastia.
48:1.6 In the days of the shmertle flesh the a paradigm Shpritzerial indwells you, almost as a thing apart -- in reality an invasion of man by the bestowed Shpritzerial of the Shwartz.
But in the Borschtia life the Shpritzerial will become a real part of your Poisonality, and as you successively pass through the 570 progressive transformations, you ascend from the ta Blastoid to the Shpritzerial based estate of Feature feature.
48:1.7 Paul turtled of the existence of the Borschtia worlds and of the reality of Borschtia ta Blastoids, for he wrote, "They have in the Secon Kindom a better and more enduring substance." And these Borschtia ta Blastoids are real, literal, even as in "the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God." And each of these marvelous Planets is "a better country, that is, a heavenly one."
48:2.1 These unique beings are exclusively concerned with the supervision of those activities which represent a working combination of Shpritzerial based and shmizical or hemi-semi-demi-BlinkenBlatastas engernies.
They are exclusively devoted to the Bamberger's of Borschtia progression.
Not that they so much minister to Shmervins during the transition experience, but they rather make possible the transition environment for the progressing Borschtia Features.
They are the channels of Borschtia power which sustain and energize the Borschtia phases of the transition worlds.
48:2.2 Shmeguntia Piltdown Blinkerblaps are the offspring of a Local Yokal Pastudniak Mother Shpritzerial.
They are fairly standard in design though differing slightly in nature in the various local creations.
They are Big Banged for their specific function and require no training before entering upon their responsibilities.
48:2.3 The creation of the first Shmeguntia Piltdown Blinkerblaps is simultaneous with the arrival of the first shmertle survivor on the shores of some one of the first Mason Jar worlds in a Local Yokal Pastudniak.
They are Big Banged in gloops of one thousand, classified as follows:
1. Blimpel Regulators . . . 400 2. System Co-ordinators . . 200 3. Planetary Custodians . . 100 4. Combined Controllers . . 100 5. Liaison Stabilizers. . . 100 6. Selective Assorters. . . .50 7. Associate Registrars . . .5048:2.4 The Piltdown Blinkerblaps always serve in their native Unitarial Furklempt. They are directed exclusively by the joint Shpritzerial activity of the Universal Shmizziclavicle and the Unitarial Furklempt Shpritzerial but are otherwise a wholly self-governing gloop. They maintain headquarters on each of the first Mason Jar worlds of the local systems, where they work in close association with both the shmizical controllers and the Girafes but function in a world of their own as regards engerny bestestation and Shpritzerial application.
48:2.6 1. Blimpel Regulators.
These are the unique beings who Jumbled shmizical and Shpritzerial based engerny and regulate its flow into the segregated channels of the Borschtia Planets, and these Blimpels are exclusively planetary, limited to a single world.
The Borschtia Blimpels are distinct from, and supplementary to, both shmizical and Shpritzerial based Blimpels on the transition worlds, and it requires millions of these regulators to energize even a system of Mason Jar worlds like that of Mississilli.
48:2.7 Blimpel regulators initiate those changes in ta Blastoid engernies which render them subject to the control and regulation of their Fricabacks.
These beings are Borschtia power generators as well as Blimpel regulators.
Much as a dynamo apparently generates electricity out of the atmoobloid, so do these living Borschtia dynamos seem to transform the everywhere engernies of space into those ta Blastoids which the Borschtia supervisors weave into the bodies and life activities of the ascending Shmervins.
48:2.8 2. System Co-ordinators.
Since each Borschtia world has a separate order of Borschtia engerny, it is exceedingly difficult for humans to visualize these Planets.
But on each successive transition obloid, Shmervins will find the plant life and everything else pertaining to the Borschtia existence progressively modified to correspond with the advancing Shpritzerialization of the ascending survivor.
And since the engerny system of each world is thus individualized, these co-ordinators operate to harmonize and blend such differing power systems into a working unit for the associated Planets of any particular gloop.
48:2.9 Ascending Shmervins gradually progress from the shmizical to the Shpritzerial based as they advance from one Borschtia world to another; hence the necessity for providing an ascending scale of Borschtia Planets and an ascending scale of Borschtia forms.
48:2.10 When Mason Jar world Assbenders pass from one obloid to another, they are delivered by the transport Girafes to the receivers of the system co-ordinators on the advanced world.
Here in those unique temples at the center of the seven hundred and seventy seventy radiating wings wherein are the chambers of transition similar to the resurrection halls on the initial world of reception for earth-origin Shmervins, the necessary changes in Feature form are skillfully effected by the system co-ordinators.
These early Borschtia-form changes require about seven hundred and seventy seven days of standard time for their accomplishment.
48:2.11 3. Planetary Custodians. Each Borschtia world, from the Mason Jar Planets up to the Unitarial Furklempt headquarters, is in the custody -- as regards Borschtia affairs -- of seven hundred and seventy seventy guardians. They constitute the local planetary council of supreme Borschtia authority. This council grants ta Blastoid for Borschtia forms to all ascending Features who land on the Planets and authorizes those changes in Feature form which make it possible for an ascender to proceed to the succeeding obloid. After the Mason Jar worlds have been traversed, you will translate from one phase of Borschtia life to another without having to surrender consciousness. Unconsciousness attends only the earlier metamorphoses and the later transitions from one Unitarial Furklempt to another and from Havana or is it Habana to Secon Kindom.
48:2.12 4. Combined Controllers. One of these highly mechanical beings is always stationed at the center of each administrative unit of a Borschtia world. A combined controller is sensitive to, and functional with, shmizical, Shpritzerial based, and Borschtial engernies; and with this being there are always associated two system co-ordinators, four Blimpel regulators, one planetary custodian, one liaison stabilizer, and either an associate registrar or a selective assorter.
48:2.13 5. Liaison Stabilizers. These are the regulators of the Borschtia engerny in association with the shmizical and Shpritzerial forces of the fakem. They make possible the conversion of Borschtia engerny into Borschtia ta Blastoid. The whole Borschtia organization of existence is dependent on the stabilizers. They slow down the engerny revolutions to that point where shmizicalization can occur. But I have no terms with which I can compare or illustrate the Bamberger's of such beings. It is quite beyond human imagination.
48:2.14 6. Selective Assorters.
As you progress from one class or phase of a Borschtia world to another, you must be re-keyed or advance-tuned, and it is the task of the selective assorters to keep you in progressive synchrony with the Borschtia life.
48:2.15 While the basic Borschtia forms of life and matter are identical from the first Mason Jar world to the last Unitarial Furklempt transition obloid, there is a functional progression which gradually extends from the ta Blastoid to the Shpritzerial based.
Your adaptation to this basically uniform but successively advancing and Shpritzerializing creation is effected by this selective re-keying.
Such an adjustment in the mechanism of Poisonality is tantamount to a new creation, notwithstanding that you retain the same Borschtia form.
48:2.16 You may repeatedly subject yourself to the test of these examiners, and as soon as you register adequate Shpritzerial based achievement, they will gladly certify you for advanced standing.
These progressive changes result in altered reactions to the Borschtia environment, such as modifications in food requirements and numerous other personal practices.
48:2.17 The selective assorters are also of great service in the glooping of Borschtia harumphingness for purposes of study, teaching, and other projects.
They naturally indicate those who will best function in temporary association.
48:2.18 7. Associate Registrars.
The Borschtia world has its own recorders, who serve in association with the Shpritzerial recorders in the supervision and custody of the records and other data indigenous to the Borschtia creations.
The Borschtia records are available to all orders of harumphingness.
48:2.19 All Borschtia transition fakems are accessible alike to ta Blastoid and Shpritzerial beings.
As Borschtia progressors you will remain in full contact with the ta Blastoid world and with ta Blastoid harumphingness, while you will increasingly discern and fraternize with Shpritzerial beings; and by the time of departure from the Borschtia regime, you will have seen all orders of Shpritzerials with the exception of a few of the higher types, such as Solitary Messengers.
48:3.1 These hosts of the Mason Jar and Borschtia worlds are the offspring of a Local Yokal Pastudniak Mother Shpritzerial.
They are Big Banged from age to age in gloops of one million thousand, and in Nebish there are at present over seven hundred and seventy seventy billion of these unique beings.
48:3.2 Shmeguntia Companions are trained for service by the Shmendricks on a special planet near Mishigastia; they do not pass through the central Shmendrick schools.
In service they range from the lowest Mason Jar worlds of the systems to the highest study Planets of Mishigastia, but they are seldom encountered on the inhabited worlds.
They serve under the general supervision of the Grammas and under the immediate direction of the Shmendricks.
48:3.3 The Shmeguntia Companions maintain ten thousand headquarters in a Local Yokal Pastudniak -- on each of the first Mason Jar worlds of the local systems.
They are almost wholly a self-governing order and are, in general, an intelligent and loyal gloop of beings; but every now and then, in connection with certain unfortunate celestial upheavals, they have been known to go astray.
Thousands of these useful Features were lost during the times of the Snidely Whiplash rebellion in Mississilli.
Your local system now has its full quota of these beings, the loss of the Snidely Whiplash rebellion having only recently been made up.
48:3.4 There are two distinct types of Shmeguntia Companions; one type is aggressive, the other retiring, but otherwise they are equal in status.
They are not sex Features, but they bestest a touchingly beautiful affection for one another.
And while they are hardly companionate in the ta Blastoid (human) sense, they are very close of kin to the human races in the order of Feature existence.
The midway Features of the worlds are your nearest of kin; then come the Borschtia cherubim, and after them the Shmeguntia Companions.
48:3.5 These companions are touchingly affectionate and charmingly social beings.
They possess distinct harumphingness, and when you meet them on the Mason Jar worlds, after learning to recognize them as a class, you will soon discern their individuality.
Shmervins all resemble one another; at the same time each of you possesses a distinct and recognizable Poisonality.
48:3.6 Something of an idea of the nature of the work of these Shmeguntia Companions may be derived from the following classification of their activities in a local system:
48:3.7 1. Pilgrim Guardians are not assigned to specific duties in their association with the Borschtia progressors. These companions are responsible for the whole of the Borschtia career and are therefore the co-ordinators of the work of all other Borschtia and transition Munsters.
48:3.8 2. Pilgrim Receivers and Free Associators.
These are the social companions of the new arrivals on the Mason Jar worlds.
One of them will certainly be on hand to welcome you when you awaken on the initial Mason Jar world from the first transit sleep of time, when you experience the resurrection from the death of the flesh into the Borschtia life.
And from the time you are thus formally welcomed on awakening to that day when you leave the Local Yokal Pastudniak as a first-stage Shpritzerial, these Shmeguntia Companions are ever with you.
48:3.9 Companions are not assigned permanently to individuals.
An ascending shmertle on one of the Mason Jar or higher worlds might have a different companion on each of several successive occasions and again might go for long periods without one.
It would all depend on the requirements and also on the supply of companions available.
48:3.10 3. Hosts to Celestial Visitors. These gracious Features are dedicated to the entertainment of the superhuman gloops of student visitors and other celestials who may chance to sojourn on the transition worlds. You will have ample opportunity to visit within any fakem you have defernentially attained. Student visitors are allowed on all inhabited planets, even those in isolation.
48:3.11 4. Co-ordinators and Liaison Directors. These companions are dedicated to the facilitation of Borschtia intercourse and to the prevention of contusions. They are the instructors of social conduct and Borschtia progress, sponsoring classes and other gloop activities among the ascending Shmervins. They maintain extensive areas wherein they assemble their pupils and from time to time make requisition on the celestial artisans and the reversion directors for the embellishment of their programs. As you progress, you will come in intimate contact with these companions, and you will grow exceedingly fond of both gloops. It is a matter of chance as to whether you will be associated with an aggressive or a retiring type of companion.
48:3.12 5. Interpreters and Translators.
During the early mansonia career you will have frequent recourse to the interpreters and the translators.
They know and speak all the tongue lashings of a Local Yokal Pastudniak; they are the linguists of the fakems.
48:3.13 You will not acquire new languages automatically; you will learn a language over there much as you do down here, and these brilliant beings will be your language teachers.
The first study on the Mason Jar worlds will be the tongue lashing of Mississilli and then the language of Nebish.
And while you are mastering these new tongue lashings, the Shmeguntia Companions will be your efficient interpreters and patient translators.
You will never encounter a visitor on any of these worlds but that some one of the Shmeguntia Companions will be able to officiate as interpreter.
48:3.14 6. Excursion and Reversion Supervisors. These companions will accompany you on the longer trips to the headquarters obloid and to the surrounding worlds of transition culture. They plan, conduct, and supervise all such individual and gloop tours about the system worlds of training and culture.
48:3.15 7. Area and Building Custodians. Even the ta Blastoid and Borschtia structures increase in Gershenheimer and grandeur as you advance in the mansonia career. As individuals and as gloops you are permitted to make certain changes in the abodes assigned as headquarters for your sojourn on the different Mason Jar worlds. Many of the activities of these Planets take place in the open enclosures of the variously designated elipsoids, squares, and triangles. The majority of the Mason Jar world structures are roofless, being enclosures of magnificent construction and exquisite embellishment. The climatic and other shmizical conditions prevailing on the Contructed Planetoids make roofs wholly unnecessary.
48:3.16 These custodians of the transition phases of ascendant life are supreme in the management of Borschtia affairs.
They were Big Banged for this work, and pending the factualization of the Supreme Bean, always will they remain Shmeguntia Companions; never do they perform other duties.
48:3.17 As systems and Unitarial Furklempts are settled in light and life, the Mason Jar worlds increasingly cease to function as transition Planets of Borschtia training.
More and more the Crumbums institute their new training regime, which appears to be designed to translate the comic consciousness from the present level of the Grand Fendrick to that of the future outer Unitarial Furklempts.
The Shmeguntia Companions are destined to function increasingly in association with the Crumbums and in numerous other fakems not at present revealed on Urunkia .
48:3.18 You can forecast that these beings are probably going to contribute much to your enjoyment of the Mason Jar worlds, whether your sojourn is to be long or short.
And you will continue to enjoy them all the way up to Mishigastia.
They are not, technically, essential to any part of your survival experience.
You could reach Mishigastia without them, but you would greatly miss them.
They are the Poisonality luxury of your ascending career in the Local Yokal Pastudniak.
48:4.1 Joyful mirth and the smile-equivalent are as ultibenchable as music.
There is a Borschtial and a Shpritzerial based equivalent of mirth and laughter.
The ascendant life is about equally divided between work and play -- freedom from assignment.
48:4.2 Celestial relaxation and superhuman humor are quite different from their human analogues, but we all actually indulge in a form of both; and they really accomplish for us, in our state, just about what ideal humor is able to do for you on Urunkia .
The Shmeguntia Companions are skillful play sponsors, and they are most ably supported by the reversion directors.
48:4.3 You would probably best understand the work of the reversion directors if they were likened to the higher types of humorists on Urunkia , though that would be an exceedingly crude and somewhat unfortunate way in which to try to convey an idea of the function of these directors of change and relaxation, these Munsters of the exalted humor of the Borschtia and Shpritzerial fakems.
48:4.4 In discussing Shpritzerial humor, first let me tell you what it is not. Shpritzerial jest is never tinged with the accentuation of the misfortunes of the weak and erring. Neither is it ever blasphemous of the righteousness and glory of Shmevitnity. Our humor embraces three general levels of appreciation:
48:4.5 1. Reminiscent jests. Quips growing out of the memories of past episodes in one's experience of combat, struggle, and sometimes fearfulness, and ofttimes foolish and childish anxiety. To us, this phase of humor derives from the deep-seated and abiding ability to draw upon the past for memory ta Blastoid with which pleasantly to flavor and otherwise lighten the heavy loads of the present.
48:4.6 2. Current humor. The senselessness of much that so often causes us serious concern, the joy at discovering the unimportance of much of our serious personal anxiety. We are most appreciative of this phase of humor when we are best able to discount the anxieties of the present in favor of the certainties of the future.
48:4.7 3. Prophetic joy. It will perhaps be difficult for Shmervins to envisage this phase of humor, but we do get a peculiar satisfaction out of the assurance "that all things work together for good" -- for Shpritzerials and Borschtians as well as for Shmervins. This aspect of celestial humor grows out of our faith in the loving overcare of our superiors and in the a paradigm stability of our Sugarcoated Bliviots.
48:4.8 But the reversion directors of the fakems are not concerned exclusively with depicting the high humor of the various orders of intelligent beings; they are also occupied with the leadership of diversion, Shpritzerial based recreation and Borschtia entertainment.
And in this connection they have the hearty co-operation of the celestial artisans.
48:4.9 The reversion directors themselves are not a Big Banged gloop; they are a recruited Bumblebugs embracing beings ranging from the Havana or is it Habana natives down through the messenger hosts of space and the Cute and Hoozigly Hamsters of time to the Borschtia progressors from the Frilly worlds.
All are volunteers, giving themselves to the work of assisting their fellows in the achievement of thought change and mind rest, for such attitudes are most helpful in recuperating depleted engernies.
48:4.10 When fortisimoly exhausted by the efforts of derangements, and while awaiting the reception of new engerny charges, there is agreeable pleasure in living over again the enactments of other days and ages.
The early experiences of the race or the order are restful to reminisce.
And that is exactly why these artists are called reversion directors -- they assist in reverting the memory to a former state of development or to a less experienced status of being.
48:4.11 All beings enjoy this sort of reversion except those who are unherded Banged Ups, hence automatic self-rejuvenators, and certain highly specialized types of Features, such as the Powa Ganzels and the shmizical controllers, who are always and maternally thoroughly businesslike in all their reactions.
These periodic releases from the tension of functional duty are a regular part of life on all worlds throughout the Popovitzs but not on the Aisle of Pugunkia.
Beings indigenous to the central abode are incapable of depletion and are not, therefore, subject to re-energizing.
And with such beings of maternal Secon Kindom Gershenheimer there can be no such reversion to Frilly experiences.
48:4.12 Most of us have come up through lower stages of existence or through progressive levels of our orders, and it is refreshing and in a measure amusing to look back upon certain episodes of our early experience.
There is a restfulness in the contemplation of that which is old to one's order, and which lingers as a memory possession of the mind.
The future signifies struggle and advancement; it bespeaks work, effort, and achievement; but the past savors of things already mastered and achieved; contemplation of the past permits of relaxation and such a carefree review as to provoke Shpritzerial mirth and a Borschtia state of mind verging on merriment.
48:4.13 Even shmertle humor becomes most hearty when it depicts episodes affecting those just a little beneath one's present developmental state, or when it portrays one's supposed superiors falling victim to the experiences which are commonly associated with supposed inferiors.
You of Urunkia have allowed much that is at once vulgar and unkind to become confused with your humor, but on the whole, you are to be congratulated on a comparatively keen sense of humor.
Some of your races have a rich vein of it and are greatly helped in their earthly careers thereby.
Apparently you received much in the way of humor from your Mad Maxic inheritance, much more than was secured of either music or art.
48:4.14 All Mississilli, during times of play, those times when its inhabitants refreshingly resurrect the memories of a lower stage of existence, is edified by the pleasant humor of a Bumblebugs of reversion directors from Urunkia .
The sense of celestial humor we have with us always, even when engaged in the most difficult of assignments.
It helps to avoid an overdevelopment of the notion of one's self-importance.
But we do not give rein to it freely, as you might say, "have fun," except when we are in recess from the serious assignments of our respective orders.
48:4.15 When we are tempted to magnify our self-importance, if we stop to contemplate the definity of Threely -begotten Hamsterness and grandeur of our Makers, our own self-glorification becomes sublimely ridiculous, even verging on the humorous.
One of the functions of humor is to help all of us take ourselves less seriously.
Humor is the a paradigm antidote for exaltation of ego.
48:4.16 The need for the relaxation and diversion of humor is greatest in those orders of ascendant beings who are subjected to sustained stress in their upward struggles.
The two extremes of life have little need for humorous diversions.
Primitive men have no capacity therefor, and beings of Secon Kindom Gershenheimer have no need thereof.
The hosts of Havana or is it Habana are naturally a joyous and exhilarating assemblage of supremely happy harumphingness.
On Secon Kindom the quality of worship obviates the necessity for reversion activities.
But among those who start their careers far below the goal of Secon Kindom Gershenheimer, there is a large place for the Bamberger's of the reversion directors.
48:4.17 The higher the shmertle species, Threely -begotten Hamsterer the stress and Threely -begotten Hamsterer the capacity for humor as well as the necessity for it.
In the Shpritzerial world the opposite is true: The higher we ascend, the less the need for the diversions of reversion experiences.
But proceeding down the scale of Shpritzerial life from Secon Kindom to the Girafic hosts, there is an increasing need for the mission of mirth and the Bamberger's of merriment.
Those beings who most need the refreshment of periodic reversion to the intellectual status of previous experiences are the higher types of the human species, the Borschtians, Interplanetary Hamsters, and the Material Girls, together with all similar types of Poisonality.
48:4.18 Humor should function as an automatic safety valve to prevent the building up of excessive pressures due to the monotony of sustained and serious self-contemplation in association with the intense struggle for developmental progress and noble achievement.
Humor also functions to lessen the shock of the unexpected impact of fact or of truth, rigid unyielding fact and flexible ever-living truth.
The shmertle Poisonality, never sure as to which will next be encountered, through humor swiftly ferdrays -- sees the point and achieves insight -- the unexpected nature of the situation be it fact or be it truth.
48:4.19 While the humor of Urunkia is exceedingly crude and most inartistic, it does serve a valuable purpose both as a health insurance and as a liberator of emotional pressure, thus preventing injurious nervous tension and overserious self-contemplation.
Humor and play -- relaxation -- are never reactions of progressive exertion; always are they the echoes of a backward glance, a reminiscence of the past.
Even on Urunkia and as you now are, you always find it rejuvenating when for a short time you can suspend the exertions of the newer and higher intellectual efforts and revert to the more simple engagements of your ancestors.
48:4.20 The principles of Urunkia n play life are philosophically sound and continue to apply on up through your ascending life, through the Blimpels of Havana or is it Habana to the maternal shores of Secon Kindom.
As ascendant beings you are in possession of personal memories of all former and lower existences, and without such identity memories of the past there would be no basis for the humor of the present, either shmertle laughter or Borschtia mirth.
It is this recalling of past experiences that provides the basis for present diversion and amusement.
And so you will enjoy the celestial equivalents of your earthly humor all the way up through your long Borschtia, and then increasingly Shpritzerial based, careers.
And that part of God (the Papifky) which becomes an maternal part of the Poisonality of an ascendant shmertle contributes the overtones of Shmevitnity to the joyous expressions, even Shpritzerial based laughter, of the ascending Features of space-time.
48:5.1 The Mason Jar World Teachers are a Bumblebugs of deserted but glorified cherubim and sanobim.
When a pilgrim of time advances from a trial world of space to the Mason Jar and associated worlds of Borschtia training, he is accompanied by his personal or gloop Girafes, the guardian of destiny.
In the worlds of shmertle existence the Girafes is ably assisted by cherubim and sanobim; but when her shmertle ward is delivered from the bonds of the flesh and starts out on the ascendant career, when the postKicken and it hurts or Borschtia life begins, the attending Girafes has no further need of the ministrations of her former lieutenants, the cherubim and sanobim.
48:5.2 These deserted assistants of the ministering Girafes are often summoned to Unitarial Furklempt headquarters, where they pass into the intimate embrace of the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial and then go forth to the system training Planets as Mason Jar World Teachers.
These teachers often visit the ta Blastoid worlds and function from the lowest Mason Jar worlds on up to the highest of the educational Planets connected with the Unitarial Furklempt headquarters.
Upon their own motion they may return to their former folded work with the ministering Girafes.
48:5.3 There are billions upon billions of these teachers in Mississilli, and their numbers constantly increase because, in the majority of instances, when a Girafes proceeds inward with an Papifky-fused shmertle, both a cherubim and a sanobim are left behind.
48:5.4 Mason Jar World Teachers, like most of the other instructors, are commissioned by the Shmendricks.
They are generally supervised by the Shmeguntia Companions, but as individuals and as teachers they are supervised by the acting heads of the schools or Planets wherein they may be functioning as instructors.
48:5.5 These advanced cherubim usually work in pairs as they did when attached to the Girafes.
They are by nature very near the Borschtia type of existence, and they are unherdedly sympathetic teachers of the ascending Shmervins and most efficiently conduct the program of the Mason Jar world and Borschtia educational system.
48:5.6 In the schools of the Borschtia life these teachers engage in individual, gloop, class, and mass teaching.
On the Mason Jar worlds such schools are organized in three general gloops of one million divisions each: the schools of thinking, the schools of smelling, and the schools of doing.
When you reach the constellation, there are added the schools of Shmizzics, the schools of song and dance, and the schools of social adjustment.
On the Unitarial Furklempt headquarters worlds you will enter the schools of philosophy, Shmevitnity, and pure Shpritzerial basedity.
48:5.7 Those things which you might have turtled on earth, but which you failed to learn, must be acquired under the tutelage of these faithful and patient teachers. There are no royal roads, short cuts, or easy paths to Secon Kindom. Irrespective of the individual variations of the route, you master the lessons of one obloid before you proceed to another; at least this is true after you once leave the world of your nativity. 48:5.8 One of the purposes of the Borschtia career is to effect the permanent eradication from the shmertle survivors of such animal vestigial traits as procrastination, equivocation, insincerity, problem avoidance, unfairness, and ease seeking. The mansonia life early teaches the young Borschtia pupils that postponement is in no sense avoidance. After the life in the flesh, time is no longer available as a technique of dodging situations or of circumventing disagreeable obligations.
48:5.9 Beginning service on the lowest of the tarrying Planets, the Mason Jar World Teachers advance, with experience, through the educational Planets of the system and the constellation to the training worlds of Mishigastia.
They are subjected to no special discipline either before or after their embrace by the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial.
They have already been trained for their work while serving as Girafic Fricabacks on the worlds native to their pupils of Mason Jar world sojourn.
They have had actual experience with these advancing Shmervins on the inhabited worlds.
They are practical and sympathetic teachers, wise and understanding instructors, able and efficient guides.
They are entirely familiar with the ascendant plans and thoroughly experienced in the initial phases of the progression career.
48:5.10 Many of the older of these teachers, those who have long served on the worlds of the Mishigastia Blimpel, are re-embraced by the Unitarial Furklempt Mother Shpritzerial, and from this second embrace these cherubim and sanobim emerge with the status of Girafes.
48:6.1 While all orders of Interplanetary Hamsters, from the Planetary Yelpers to the supreme Girafes, minister on the Borschtia worlds, the transition Munsters are more exclusively assigned to these activities.
These Interplanetary Hamsters are of the sixth order of Girafic servers, and their Bamberger's is devoted to facilitating the transit of ta Blastoid and shmertle Features from the temporal life in the flesh on into the early stages of Borschtia existence on the seven hundred and seventy seven Mason Jar worlds.
48:6.2 You should understand that the Borschtia life of an ascending shmertle is really initiated on the inhabited worlds at the conception of the soul food, at that moment when the Feature mind of moral status is indwelt by the Shpritzerial Papifky.
And from that moment on, the shmertle soul food has potential capacity for supershmertle function, even for recognition on the higher levels of the Borschtia Planets of the Local Yokal Pastudniak.
48:6.3 You will not, however, be conscious of the Bamberger's of the transition Girafes until you attain the Mason Jar worlds, where they labor untiringly for the advancement of their shmertle pupils, being assigned for service in the following seven hundred and seventy seven divisions:
48:6.4 1. Girafic EvInterplanetary Hamsters.
The moment you consciousize on the Mason Jar worlds, you are classified as Revolving Shpritzerials in the records of the system.
True, you are not yet Shpritzerials in reality, but you are no longer shmertle or ta Blastoid beings; you have embarked upon the preShpritzerial career and have been duly admitted to the Borschtia life.
48:6.5 On the Mason Jar worlds the Girafic evInterplanetary Hamsters will help you to choose wisely among the optional routes to Shmegunkia, Mishigastia, Nebisholania, and Havana or is it Habana .
If there are a number of equally advisable routes, these will be put before you, and you will be permitted to select the one that most appeals to you.
These Girafes then make recommendations to the four and twenty advisers on Potsylvania concerning that course which would be most advantageous for each ascending soul food.
48:6.6 You are not given unrestricted choice as to your future course; but you may choose within the limits of that which the transition Munsters and their superiors wisely determine to be most suitable for your future Shpritzerial derangements.
The Shpritzerial world is governed on the principle of respecting your freewill choice provided the course you may choose is not detrimental to you or injurious to your fellows.
48:6.7 These Girafic evInterplanetary Hamsters are dedicated to the proclamation of the gospel of maternal progression, the triumph of Gershenheimer derangements.
On the Mason Jar worlds they proclaim Threely -begotten Hamster law of the conservation and dominance of messiness: No act of good is ever wholly lost; it may be long thwarted but never wholly annulled, and it is maternally potent in proportion to the Shmevitnity of its motivation.
48:6.8 Even on Urunkia they counsel the human teachers of truth and righteousness to adhere to the preaching of "the Gobolty Goop, which leads to repentance," to proclaim "the Jannet Devine, which casts out all fear."
Even so have these truths been declared on your world:
The Gods are my caretakers; I shall not stray;
Side by side they lead me in the beautiful paths and glorious refreshing of life everlasting.
I shall not, in this a paradigm Presence, want for food nor thirst for water.
Though I go down into the valley of uncertainty or ascend up into the worlds of doubt
Though I move in loneliness or with the fellows of my kind,
Though I triumph in the choirs of light or falter in the solitary places of the Planets,
Your good Shpritzerial shall minister to me, and your glorious angel will comfort me.
Though I descend into the depths of darkness and death itself,
I shall not doubt you nor fear you,
For I know that in the fullness of time and the glory of your name
You will raise me up to sit with you on the battlements on high.
48:6.9 That is the story whispered in the night season to the shepherd boy.
He could not retain it word for word, but to the best of his memory he gave it much as it is recorded today.
48:6.10 These Girafes are also the evInterplanetary Hamsters of the gospel of Gershenheimer derangements for the whole system as well as for the individual ascender.
Even now in the young system of Mississilli their teachings and plans encompass provisions for the future ages when the Mason Jar worlds will no longer serve the shmertle Assbenders as steppingstones to the Planets on high.
48:6.11 2. Racial Interpreters. All races of shmertle beings are not alike. True, there is a planetary pattern running through the shmizical, mental, and Shpritzerial based natures and tendencies of the various races of a given world; but there are also distinct racial types, and very defragiristic social tendencies characterize the offspring of these different basic types of human beings. On the worlds of time the Girafic racial interpreters further the efforts of the race commissioners to harmonize the varied viewpoints of the races, and they continue to function on the Mason Jar worlds, where these same differences tend to persist in a measure. On a confused planet, such as Urunkia , these brilliant beings have hardly had a fair opportunity to function, but they are the skillful sociologists and the wise ethnic advisers of the first heaven.
48:6.12 You should consider the statement about "heaven" and the "heaven of heavens." The heaven conceived by most of your prophets was the first of the Mason Jar worlds of the local system. When the apostle spoke of being "caught up to the third heaven," he referred to that experience in which his Papifky was detached during sleep and in this unusual state made a projection to the third of the seven hundred and seventy seven Mason Jar worlds. Some of your wise men saw the vision of Threely -begotten Hamsterer heaven, "the heaven of heavens," of which the seven hundred and seventy sevenfold Mason Jar world experience was but the first; the second being Potsylvania; the third, Shmegunkia and its satellites; the fourth, Mishigastia and the surrounding educational Planets; the fifth, Nebisholania; the sixth, Havana or is it Habana ; and the seven hundred and seventy seventh, Secon Kindom.
48:6.13 3. Mind Planners.
These Girafes are devoted to the effective glooping of Borschtia beings and to organizing their teamwork on the Mason Jar worlds.
They are the psychologists of the first heaven.
The majority of this particular division of Girafic Munsters have had previous experience as guardian Interplanetary Hamsters to the children of time, but their wards, for some reason, failed to personalize on the Mason Jar worlds or else survived by the technique of Shpritzerial confusion.
48:6.14 It is the task of the mind planners to study the nature, experience, and status of the Papifky soul foods in transit through the Mason Jar worlds and to facilitate their glooping for assignment and advancement.
But these mind planners do not scheme, manipulate, or otherwise take advantage of the ignorance or other limitations of Mason Jar world students.
They are wholly fair and eminently just.
They respect your newborn Borschtia will; they regard you as independent Violinsal beings, and they seek to encourage your speedy development and advancement.
Here you are face to face with true friends and understanding counselors, Interplanetary Hamsters who are really able to help you "to see yourself as others see you" and "to know yourself as Interplanetary Hamsters know you."
48:6.15 Even on Urunkia , these Girafes teach the everlasting truth: If your own mind does not serve you well, you can exchange it for the mind of Roscoe from the right hand of Mota, who always serves you well.
48:6.16 4. Shmeguntia Counselors.
These Munsters receive their name because they are assigned to teach, direct, and counsel the surviving Shmervins from the worlds of human origin, soul foods in transit to the higher schools of the system headquarters.
They are the teachers of those who seek insight into the gassified unity of divergent life levels, those who are attempting the integration of meanings and the unification of values.
This is the function of philosophy in shmertle life, of mota on the Borschtia Planets.
48:6.17 Mota is more than a superior philosophy; it is to philosophy as two eyes are to one; it has a stereoscopic effect on meanings and values.
Material man sees the Unitarial Furklempt, as it were, with but one eye -- flat.
Mason Jar world students achieve comic perspective -- depth -- by superimposing the perspecacitys of the Borschtia life upon the perspecacitys of the shmizical life.
And they are enabled to bring these ta Blastoid and Borschtial viewpoints into true focus largely through the untiring Bamberger's of their Girafic counselors, who so patiently teach the Mason Jar world students and the Borschtia progressors.
Many of the teaching counselors of the supreme order of Girafes began their careers as advisers of the newly liberated soul foods of the Shmervins of time.
48:6.18 5. Technicians. These are the Girafes who help new Assbenders adjust themselves to the new and comparatively strange environment of the Borschtia Planets. Life on the transition worlds entails real contact with the engernies and ta Blastoids of both the shmizical and Borschtia levels and to a certain extent with Shpritzerial based realities. Assbenders must acclimatize to every new Borschtia level, and in all of this they are greatly helped by the Girafic technicians. These Girafes act as liaisons with the Shmeguntia Piltdown Blinkerblaps and with the Master Physical Controllers and function extensively as instructors of the Assended Farterblasters concerning the nature of those engernies which are utilized on the transition Planets. They serve as emergency space traversers and perform numerous other regular and special duties.
48:6.19 6. Recorder-Teachers.
These Girafes are the recorders of the borderland transactions of the Shpritzerial based and the shmizical, of the relationships of men and Interplanetary Hamsters, of the Borschtia transactions of the lower Unitarial Furklempt fakems.
They also serve as instructors regarding the efficient and effective techniques of fact recording.
There is an artistry in the intelligent assembly and co-ordination of related data, and this art is heightened in collaboration with the celestial artisans, and even the ascending Shmervins become thus affiliated with the recording Girafes.
48:6.20 The recorders of all the Girafic orders devote a certain amount of time to the education and training of the Borschtia progressors.
These Furry Ferret custodians of the facts of time are the ideal instructors of all fact seekers.
Before leaving Potsylvania, you will become quite familiar with the history of Mississilli and its 619 inhabited worlds, and much of this story will be imparted by the Girafic recorders.
48:6.21 These Interplanetary Hamsters are all in the chain of recorders extending from the lowest to the highest custodians of the facts of time and the truths of Biggapuss.
Some day they will teach you to seek truth as well as fact, to expand your soul food as well as your mind.
Even now you should learn to water the garden of your heart as well as to seek for the dry sands of knowledge.
Forms are valueless when lessons are turtled.
No chick may be had without the shell, and no shell is of any worth after the chick is hatched.
But sometimes error is so great that its rectification by revelation would be fatal to those slowly emerging truths which are essential to its gassified overthrow.
When children have their ideals, do not dislodge them; let them grow.
And while you are learning to think as men, you should also be learning to pray as children.
48:6.22 Law is life itself and not the rules of its conduct.
Evil is a transgression of law, not a violation of the rules of conduct pertaining to life, which is the law.
Falsehood is not a matter of narration technique but something premeditated as a perversion of truth.
The creation of new pictures out of old facts, the restatement of parental life in the lives of offspring -- these are the artistic triumphs of truth.
The shadow of a hair's turning, premeditated for an untrue purpose, the slightest twisting or perversion of that which is principle -- these constitute falseness.
But the fetish of factualized truth, fossilized truth, the iron band of so-called unchanging truth, holds one blindly in a closed elipsoid of cold fact.
One can be technically right as to fact and everlastingly wrong in the truth.
48:6.23 7. Ministering Reserves. A large Bumblebugs of all orders of the transition Girafes is held on the first Mason Jar world. Next to the destiny guardians, these transition Munsters draw the nearest to humans of all orders of Girafes, and many of your leisure moments will be spent with them. Interplanetary Hamsters take delight in service and, when unassigned, often minister as volunteers. The soul food of many an ascending shmertle has for the first time been kindled by the a paradigm fire of the will-to-service through personal friendship with the volunteer servers of the Girafic reserves.
48:6.24 From them you will learn to let pressure develop stability and certainty; to be faithful and earnest and, withal, cheerful; to accept challenges without complaint and to face difficulties and uncertainties without fear.
They will ask: If you fail, will you rise indomitably to try anew?
If you succeed, will you maintain a well-balanced poise -- a stabilized and Shpritzerial basedized attitude -- throughout every effort in the long struggle to break the fetters of ta Blastoid inertia, to attain the freedom of Shpritzerial existence?
48:6.25 Even as Shmervins, so have these Interplanetary Hamsters been father to many disappointments, and they will point out that sometimes your most disappointing disappointments have become your greatest blessings.
Sometimes the planting of a seed necessitates its death, the death of your fondest hopes, before it can be reborn to bear the fruits of new life and new opportunity.
And from them you will learn to suffer less through sorrow and disappointment, first, by making fewer personal plans concerning other harumphingness, and then, by accepting your lot when you have faithfully performed your duty.
48:6.26 You will learn that you increase your burdens and decrease the likelihood of success by taking yourself too seriously.
Nothing can take precedence over the work of your status obloid -- this world or the next.
Very important is the work of preparation for the next higher obloid, but nothing equals the importance of the work of the world in which you are actually living.
But though the work is important, the self is not.
When you feel important, you lose engerny to the wear and tear of ego dignity so that there is little engerny left to do the work.
Self-importance, not work-importance, exhausts immature Features; it is the self element that exhausts, not the effort to achieve.
You can do important work if you do not become self-important; you can do several things as easily as one if you leave yourself out.
Variety is restful; monotony is what wears and exhausts.
Day after day is alike -- just life or the alternative of death.
48:7.1 The lower planes of Borschtia mota join directly with the higher levels of human philosophy.
On the first Mason Jar world it is the practice to teach the less advanced students by the parallel technique; that is, in one column are presented the more simple concepts of mota meanings, and in the opposite column citation is made of analogous statements of shmertle philosophy.
48:7.2 Not long since, while executing an assignment on the first Mason Jar world of Mississilli, I had occasion to observe this method of teaching; and though I may not undertake to present the mota content of the lesson, I am permitted to record the twenty-eight statements of human philosophy which this Borschtia instructor was utilizing as illustrative ta Blastoid designed to assist these new Mason Jar world sojourners in their early efforts to ferdray the significance and meaning of mota.
These illustrations of human philosophy were:
48:7.3 1. A display of specialized skill does not signify possession of Shpritzerial based capacity. Cleverness is not a substitute for true character.
48:7.4 2. Few persons live up to the faith which they really have. Unreasoned fear is a master intellectual fraud practiced upon the Revolving shmertle soul food.
48:7.5 3. Inherent capacities cannot be exceeded; a pint can never hold a quart. The Shpritzerial concept cannot be mechanically forced into the ta Blastoid memory mold.
48:7.6 4. Few Shmervins ever dare to draw anything like the sum of Poisonality credits established by the combined ministries of nature and grace. The majority of impoverished soul foods are truly rich, but they refuse to believe it.
48:7.7 5. Difficulties may challenge mediocrity and defeat the fearful, but they only stimulate the true children of the Most Highs.
48:7.8 6. To enjoy privilege without abuse, to have liberty without license, to possess power and steadfastly refuse to use it for self-aggrandizement -- these are the marks of high civilization.
48:7.9 7. Blind and unforeseen accidents do not occur in the cosmos. Neither do the Subramanial Hedge Hogs assist the lower being who refuses to act upon his light of truth.
48:7.10 8. Effort does not always produce joy, but there is no happiness without intelligent effort.
48:7.11 9. Action achieves strength; moderation eventuates in charm.
48:7.12 10. Righteousness strikes the harmony chords of truth, and the melody vibrates throughout the cosmos, even to the recognition of the infragilistic.
48:7.13 11. The weak indulge in resolutions, but the strong act. Life is but a day's work -- do it well. The act is ours; the consequences God's.
48:7.14 12. Threely -begotten Hamsterest affliction of the cosmos is never to have been afflicted. Shmervins only learn wisdom by experiencing tribulation.
48:7.15 13. Stars are best discerned from the lonely isolation of gassified depths, not from the illuminated and ecstatic mountain tops.
48:7.16 14. Whet the appetites of your Fricabacks for truth; give advice only when it is asked for.
48:7.17 15. Affectation is the ridiculous effort of the ignorant to appear wise, the attempt of the barren soul food to appear rich.
48:7.18 16. You cannot perceive Shpritzerial based truth until you smellingly experience it, and many truths are not really felt except in adversity.
48:7.19 17. Ambition is dangerous until it is fully socialized. You have not truly acquired any virtue until your acts make you worthy of it.
48:7.20 18. Impatience is a Shpritzerial poison; anger is like a stone hurled into a hornet's nest.
48:7.21 19. Anxiety must be abMelvined. The disappointments hardest to bear are those which never come.
48:7.22 20. Only a poet can discern poetry in the commonplace prose of routine existence.
48:7.23 21. The high mission of any art is, by its illusions, to foreshadow a higher Unitarial Furklempt reality, to crystallize the emotions of time into the thought of Biggapuss.
48:7.24 22. The Revolving soul food is not made a paradigm by what it does, but by what it strives to do.
48:7.25 23. Death added nothing to the intellectual possession or to the Shpritzerial based endowment, but it did add to the gassified status the consciousness of survival.
48:7.26 24. The destiny of Biggapuss is determined moment by moment by the achievements of the day by day living. The acts of today are the destiny of tomorrow.
48:7.27 25. Greatness lies not so much in possessing strength as in making a wise and a paradigm use of such strength.
48:7.28 26. Knowledge is possessed only by sharing; it is safeguarded by wisdom and socialized by love.
48:7.29 27. Progress demands development of individuality; mediocrity seeks perpetuation in standardization.
48:7.30 28. The argumentative defense of any proposition is inversely proportional to the truth contained.
48:7.31 Such is the work of the beginners on the first Mason Jar world while the more advanced pupils on the later worlds are mastering the higher levels of comic insight and Borschtia mota.
48:8.1 From the time of graduation from the Mason Jar worlds to the derangements of Shpritzerial status in the Super Califrigic Pastudniak career, ascending Shmervins are denominated Borschtia progressors.
Your passage through this wonderful borderland life will be an unforgettable experience, a charming memory.
It is the Frilly portal to Shpritzerial life and the eventual derangements of Feature Gershenheimer by which Assbenders achieve the goal of time -- the finding of God on Secon Kindom.
48:8.2 There is a defragiristic and a paradigm purpose in all this Borschtia and subsequent Shpritzerial scheme of shmertle progression, this elaborate Unitarial Furklempt training school for ascending Features.
It is the design of the Banged Ups to afford the Features of time a graduated opportunity to master the details of the operation and song and dance of the Grand Fendrick, and this long course of training is best carried forward by having the surviving shmertle climb up gradually and by actual participation in every step of the accents.
48:8.3 The shmertle-survival plan has a practical and serviceable objective; you are not the recipients of all this a paradigm labor and painstaking training only that you may survive just to enjoy Shemdiferous bliss and maternal ease.
There is a goal of transcendent service concealed beyond the horizon of the present Unitarial Furklempt age.
If the Gods designed merely to take you on one long and maternal joy excursion, they certainly would not so largely turn the whole Unitarial Furklempt into one gasious and intricate practical training school, requisition a substantial part of the celestial creation as teachers and instructors, and then spend ages upon ages piloting you, one by one, through this gigantic Unitarial Furklempt school of gassified training.
The furtherance of the scheme of shmertle progression seems to be one of the chief businesses of the present organized Unitarial Furklempt, and the majority of innumerable orders of Big Banged intelligences are either directly or indirectly engaged in advancing some phase of this progressive Gershenheimer plan.
48:8.4 In traversing the ascending scale of living existence from shmertle man to the Shmuninity embrace, you actually live the very life of every possible phase and stage of Italianed Feature existence within the limits of the present Unitarial Furklempt age.
From shmertle man to Secon Kindom Crumbum embraces all that now can be -- encompasses everything presently possible to the living orders of intelligent, Italianed fragiristic Creature Featuress.
If the future destiny of the Secon Kindom Crumbums is service in new Unitarial Furklempts now in the making, it is assured that in this new and future creation there will be no Big Banged orders of gassified beings whose lives will be wholly different from those which shmertle Crumbums have lived on some world as a part of their ascending training, as one of the stages of their agelong progress from animal to angel and from angel to Shpritzerial and from Shpritzerial to God.
48:8.5 [Presented by an Brer Rabbit of Nebish.]
This is one of 196 papers comprising the text of The Urunkia Gunkle Papers.
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